Is looking at/watching porn considered cheating?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Petal, Jun 27, 2009.

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Is watching porn cheating?

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    8.3%
  2. No

    18 vote(s)
    75.0%
  3. Unsure

    4 vote(s)
    16.7%
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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    This issue was raised in chat earlier and there were many different views on the subject. I'd like to hear your thoughts :)
     
  2. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Nope. If anyone considers porn cheating, then they're very possessive.

    It's understandable to feel betrayed if your partner is fantasizing about someone they actually know but porn is far removed from that.
     
  3. Bubble

    Bubble Well-Known Member

    Porn is something you read/watch/listen too,
    Cheating is seen as having relations with somebody else..

    How can porn be an act of cheating? And if it were im sure MANY people people in this world are cheaters
     
  4. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I'd say it's reasonably considered such - but it depends on the specific deal of the marriage.
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    No. I had one boyfriend feel that I was cheating on him so just learned to keep it private and hide it. I only tell if asked.
     
  6. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I'd say it depends if you live together. Even if you do, I guess it's still not 'cheating' as such. Some people feel betrayed by it though.
     
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    heh we got 8 no's and no yes's. I definitely agree as well that watching porn is not cheating. I do not have romantic feelings for the people I watch on the internet :laugh:
     
  8. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I voted no on this because logically speaking it would seen ridiculous for a spouse or bf/gf to find out about it and think it was cheating. But I can tell
    you that when my ex gf found out about my collection, it may as well of been that I cheated with another woman.

    Eventually we watched them together, but she certainly felt that because I didn't tell her right away,it was like I cheated. I can however see the point of view from the other party. I might feel the same. I still voted no though.
     
  9. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I vote unsure as I think it depends upon the circumstance. My ex-roomie was literally cheating on her boyfriend with another guy over porn stuff on the internet. While there was no sex involved (it was the internet after all!) all of the emotional stuff was there. It's the emotional stuff that, to me, equals cheating. Which is not to say that seeing a call girl wouldn't be cheating, because well, that's definitely real and not porn. So I think it depends upon the circumstance. I'm too insecure with myself to handle a partner doing that on an outright, regular basis. But what they do and I don't know wouldn't hurt me, as long as they're honest and are like, "Look, I may do this but it doesn't mean..."
     
  10. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I suppose the problem is that one's partner is - ideally speaking - supposed to be sole (at least ideal) source of sexual gratificaiton and attention. Pornography, however detatched and impersonal it may be, still acts as some sort of substitute for your partner. While I don't believe it to be cheating myself, I can understand why one would feel in some way perturbed that their partner relies on porn over themselves.

    Then again that begs the question: to what degree are you watching porn? If it's occassionally or while the partner is away, it's one thing. But if you're watching pornography everyday or something, even in a serious relationship, that does seem legitmately concerning. Another factor is to what degree are you sexually active with your mate. It would be troublesome if you were rarely sexual with someone and instead watched porn more.

    Out of curiousity: how many of you that voted "no" had a partner that watch porn?
     
  11. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I voted No and have had partners that watched porn when we were not together, actually I watched more often than one partner as he didn't really like porn and one ended up taking my best girl on girl ever! Not sure what this says as we each had different motives and I had different motives at different times.

    I do agree with the comments above that there is a point where it is "an issue" and certain circumstances where its role is "cheating".
     
  12. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I would say that it's basically the same thing as cheating if one partner doesn't approve and the other sneaks around and does it behind the other partner's back.

    My opinion on this has always been that people who enter into a relationship should be prepared to try and understand and accept one another with all the wrinkles and warts. For instance, it really isn't fair to get involved with someone who you know enjoys porn and expect them to give it up because you don't approve. This generally applies to men but sometimes women. Men like porn. It's just that simple. They like porn even if they love you. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough (I've heard this from a number of women). Men just compulsively masturbate. It's a way of life. That's just how most men are.

    By the same token, it isn't fair to hide a porn habit from someone you're just getting involved with and then expect them to accept it. It would be nice if everyone could accept finding out things they didn't know about someone they're dating or married to but in reality, that's just not realistic. Some people (usually women but sometimes men) have a big problem with things like porn. They don't even want it in the house.

    Ideally, if someone likes porn, they'd find someone else who likes porn and they could share a mutual interest. I doubt that happens very often.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2009
  13. Pad

    Pad Well-Known Member

    I think it's something one should discuss with their partner to know where they stand. Being honest is the only way and then there are no grey areas
     
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