Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by numberman, Oct 31, 2007.
Lost,please make a post and let us know what is happening
lost was on MSN yesterday hun ut havent been able to talk to her.
ost let us know your ok hun e care about you xxx
my internet is down at home so i havent seen if shes on msn or not.
hope you still ok lost_child. please let us know how you doing!
Hun, I really hope you are ok
I am ok, in a sense. Sorry. Only came on here because I saw an email. I've not posted as I think SF is for people who are in a crisis, want to die, but still have a little hope inside that they can survive. I feel I've gone past this point. I don't want to survive. I took an overdose and still feeling the effects, I can't stop being ill, I know its only a matter of time before I leave this world.
Sorry once again.
I am not at that point, but I understand as much as another person can. I hope that when you do go its peaceful, and you are happy. Nobody deserves to be in pain, or have to trudge through life forever hopeless and hurting.
I hope i'm nt flamed for the well wishes, whether its an end or not.:mellow:
This site is for anyone and everyone, whether they want help or not, sometimes it's just nice to have some form of company, even if it is cyber company.
I have been where you are, I know that feeling and I want to give you a hug, I want to tell you it gets better, or suggest you get some help, or tell you that there is hope, but I know that none of those points will make the slightest bit of difference if you are feeling that crap.
However, another way to look at it might be that, if you do want to die and don't want to live, then you lose nothing by seeking out some help, and talking to and telling someone. The option for suicide still remains, however, if you try everything, then you know that you have given yourself a chance to find out if there is anything better out there (and by everything, I mean, all med combos, therapies, therapists, everything). If dying is what you really want, then you lose nothing by exploring other routes.
Hang in there
I have been seeing a pyschotherpist since march 2006, a psychistrist since October 2006..and still seeing both of them now. I've been on anti-depressants since May (I was on them before but was taken off them as I was abusing drink and drugs). I'm now down to see a psychologist...I have tried, I've tried everything I can. CBT was recommended to me, but both the p/therpist and p/trist say that it wouldn't work as I'm too closed minded, and in such a negative state that it wouldn't help at the moment.
I've tried to make new friends and end up making a foul of myself because I get freaked of closeness and letting down my barriers so no-one can get close to me, or get a conversation out of me.
I am at the end..I saw some friends and even they said I was very very distant and wasn't really there, and I wasn't. I'm now in my own world, on my own, shutting down..and just breathing, not living, just breathing until I take my last breath.
It sucks arse when you are where you are. It's great you have got some support, but maybe it's not what you need. Have you tried things like therapeutic communities, or the Crisis Recovery Unit at the Maudsley, DBT, support groups or general IP or OP?
I really can feel your pain, like I said, I've been there. I'm not much better now, but I learnt to take every day at a time, and not expect too much of myself.
I am sorry that you feel you made a fool of yourself, but a fear of closeness is a common thing, and probably it was only you that thought you were being a fool.
I just really want to hug you (but that might scare you) and I don't even know you. As long as you are here, there is hope.
What happens if you do something that gives you permanent brain damage and then you end up not living, but not dying? Or what happens if you do something that gives you liver failure and then you are dying, but suddenly a reason arrives that makes you want to live?
I really do feel for you, so much. I wish I could do something to help.
I haven't tried any of what you have suggested, but will look into them. I can't do support groups because of the closeness with people.
I'm freaking out its firework night and I don't like them, I hate this time of year. I'm scared incase the guys who raped me nearly 2 years ago come back. I don't want to go out. I'm just so very tired.
I don't want brain damage, i don't want to be dependent on someone. I just want a normal life, and I can't find anything..Nothing seems to be helping. I'm at a lost what to do.
I don't do hugs, but right now all I want is someone to hold me. i'm so freakd out.
Ok, for the fireworks, put some music on, maybe ear/headphones, put the tv on, turn all the lights on and close the curtains. keep your phone with you. What happened two years ago won't happen again, so try to keep reminding yourself that. It sounds stupid, but every place you go try to plan a way out,or something you might do if you had to defend yourself, that way you will know you are safe and can't be hurt. Do ypou think that talking to someone like the samaritans might help?
It's good you will look into those other possibilities. There is always something else to try, even if things seem bleak, there is always another option to try, even if it means trying some things over again, often at different times, with different skills we have gained, things that haven't helped before, might help at that point. also, it occurred to me that someone on here mentioned the maytree something (I can't remember the full name, but there was a post in the crisis forum, i think, about it, so maybe try to locate it).
Wanting a normal life is a good thing, because you can't get that if you are dead. However, the downfall is that there is no such thing as a 'normal' life, BUT, I know what you mean, about wanting as life without the pain that you feel right now. It won't be easy (You already know that), and it won't be quick (you know that too), but it is achievable. Try to focus on baby steps though, not the whole thing because it will seem unmanageable. I often say to people 'how would you eat an elephant' and the answer would be 'breaking it down into bitesize amounts', and its the same thing. Aiming for a better life is good, but could easily feel unachievable, so try to focus on little bits that can help you achieve that goal, like going to therapy, looking for other routes, trying to find something positive each day, etc.
Sometimes it helps, but normally not. I will com back and reply better. just wanted to say I had read ur reply. but just read and replied to another post and now feel bad. sorry.
It's ok, reply as and when you can
Take time for yourself, focus on yourself and put yourself first.
Thinking of you.