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Is love worth gambling your friendship for?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by boo, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I'm sure many of you have been dealt this card once. The "friendship or love" evil hand. Go broke or fold? Would you risk your friendship and tempt love?

    I'm a risk taker, so yea i would risk it. How about you guys? Any successful or nightmarish stories?
  2. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I lost a 15 year friend over a girl once. She left me two weeks later. He's dead now. So yeah girl come and go but don't betray your friends.
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Bro's before ho's I believe the saying goes.
  4. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    I completely disagree. Friends come and go to the same extent. My boyfriend is the only person i'm sure won't just ditch me out of bitchiness XD
    I think that the op meant, would you risk a friendship by asking someone out.. Like, say if you were in love with your best friend of 20 years, would you risk making things awkward and potentially ruining the friendship by telling them you loved them or would you keep quiet about it?
    Personally i'd just tell them, worked out for my best friend and i XP
  5. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    yup, what's i meant :D
  6. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    I don't think I could do it. Its just too big a risk. To lose a friendship over something so silly. Even if you do like them i'm sure your feelings will blow over soon. If the friendships good, why lose it? Just the thought of losing a friendship makes me worry. Imagine how you'd feel then? I'm sure it would be crummy.
  7. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    you take risks but you take them in what you believe in.

    also i messed up with Aimee but idk what i should have done anyway really.
    it was a risk but i believed in her so i stupidly figured life would be ok somehow.

    anyway trust me, even though it messed up i still needed to do it because of the above quote.
  8. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    i've spent the last 12 years in love with my best friend. we've messed around a time or two and there was once a time where he said he wanted a relationship with me. then promptly changed his mind. i see him chase after girls that he doesn't love and push me to the side and it breaks what is left of my heart. he will spend lots of time with me when he is single but the second that a girl gives him a glance i'm thrown out like yesterday's garbage.

    so i guess i'm saying take a stab at it. at least then you won't wait for a tomorrow that never comes.
  9. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I tried it once in high school. I was like 16 and didn't know any better so I just told her I liked her and we went out for a while. It was great at first, she was probably the hottest girl I'd dated up until that point. I'd always heard "Oh dude you can't just tell a girl you like her, it doesn't work that way" so I was pretty stoked with myself for having defied fate. Then she cheated on me and it sucked. I'd do it again though. You should always go for it. If it doesn't go well you learn from it and if it does you'll be happy until she cheats on you, then you learn from it. Doing nothing just reinforces risk aversion and that'll screw you over in more than just dating imo.
  10. Darc

    Darc Well-Known Member

    Theoretically, I agree with Reki...it'd probably be worth it to just risk it and learn from it, no matter how it works out. Practically, well, I'm just too much of a nutjob to do it...I was crushing on a girl in my class for more than three years...over time, we managed to go from the 'acquaintance' to the 'something like a friend' level veeery slowly....but I never dared say anything to her...for several reasons...for once, I simply didn't have any friends, and I didn't want to lose the only one that could be like one for me...then I was sure she didn't like me back...and, she was pretty popular...always moving in a flock of people...I was always just second choice, if any other friend of her came along, I was forgotten...I only really could talk to her when we were alone and that wasn't often...so yeah, in theory, I think love is worth risking your friendship, but in reality you have to think first about how good your chances are, before you throw friendship away just to gain nothing.
  11. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    Tried it before, would definately 'fold' if I was ever in the situation again.
  12. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I can honestly say I've never been in this situation. When I like someone, I either like them straight away or I never like them at all; and when we I do like them I can barely choke out a syllable let alone get to the 'friends' stage. If I consider someone a friend then they are just that.. a friend. Nothing more.

    I have however been in a situation before where a friend of mine has liked me (in fact quite a few times..), but it never goes anywhere. If I don't have an interest in the person romantically, then what is the point in dating them? They kinda failed to recognise this however, and throughout my eight year friendship with these bunch of guys, they all professed their feelings for me multiple times; never once taking 'no' for an answer. One of them even wanted to use me as a test dummy to figure out if he really was gay or not (didn't know this at the time - found out years later when he came out of the proverbial closet). :unsure: