I have been a cutter for 8 years now and i have never wanted to stop. I am a "happier" person when i am cutting. recently though i have tried to stop because i have a son who is becoming more aware of things and a boyfriend who, bless him for trying, is always a little taken a back by me in the best of situations. i am now concerned that by not cutting up in such a long time, when i eventually do give in and cut up (which i know i will) will i be able to refrain and just do the cuts i would normally or will my body, mind and soul all wish me to do more to make up for not having done it in so long. Or will i just feel this enourmous sense of what i have been missing and have to go on to continue to apease that longing and missing? i am scared now because i have always been so "in control" of my SH and now i dont know if i can be... help??