Is suicide a selfish act?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xXxJJxXx, Feb 18, 2010.

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  1. xXxJJxXx

    xXxJJxXx Active Member

    When I survived last time I lost most of my 'friends' and they ALL said that j was being selfish in trying to kill myself. Is it really that selfish? I don't wanted to be remembered in a bad way :(
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    No they are selfish for wanting us to stay so they don't cry and all that shit...why should we stay in pain just to please fucking them?
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    If you really don't want to be remembered in a bad way, keep living and do your best to be a decent person

    suicide is the last selfish act - we may try to justify it but we aren't doing it for anyone else's "benefit" but our own
  4. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    What about family?
  5. Shattered Soldier

    Shattered Soldier Well-Known Member

    For suicide to not be considered a bad thing or just another selfish act, the majority of the people it will effect have to be in agreement that it is your time to go. Unfortunately when you do something that is against popular opinion it can always labeled as selfish no matter how much you actually feel the action is to your benefit. Given the common belief systems in our world today, it seems that the only way to get a majority vote that your life should be over is being on your deathbed suffering from a terminal illness. Mental anguish is unseen, subjective, almost imaginary to most people. Even worse, I would say that the majority of people in the world believe it can be cured, dealt with, or will just pass in time.

    I truly believe that the fear of grieving and the uncertainty of death in the minds of others will always outweigh mercy in a seemingly healthy individual.

    With that said, with all of their opinions, morals, fears, etc. Are other people being selfish for still wanting me around?
  6. nos nomed

    nos nomed Well-Known Member

    They are selfish for abandoning you afterwards when it is clear you are suffering. Most people only say that because they are selfish and afraid of feeling the sting of mortality. This is why they are no longer your friends because they only cared about their feeling in the end not yours. They expect you to just live and smile for their benefit and to me living for someone else can be more hurtful to you. True friends stick with you no matter what and they empower you and help you find a piece of life you can enjoy for yourself.

    Before commiting an irreversible act seriously consider is there no way possible that your life can achieve a level where you can enjoy it. It often seems like no but if you really look you can find that it can. Have you put in effort to actually find what makes you happy. I doubt you have explored everything life has to offer so get out there and see if any of it is enjoyable.

    Suicide is taking the easy way out because it's a lot harder at times to live. It's not so much being selfish as it is admiting defeat.
  7. TakingChances

    TakingChances New Member

    all depends, life is a gift in my opinion..
  8. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Is it selfish? I think that depends on the circumstances.
    Regardless, they were wrong to say that to you. A decent friend would be supportive and try to help you through it or at the very least be there when you need it.
  9. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I think on some level it is selfish but then don't people always do selfish things to get what they want out of life? Even your so called ex friends their all being selfish now by abandoning you now when you need them the most?
  10. Well, depending on whether you believe in an afterlife or not, it could be not possible to know what these people would be thinking of you anyway, so why does it matter?

    As complicated as friendships seem, at the end of the day, the good ones are those that are 'symbiotic'. That means both parties get something out of it and is thus mostly as a result of 'selfishness' anyways. For example to fill psychological needs that you have trouble meeting yourself etc, etc.

    Have a rest from selfish f**tards that demand you to live as a condition of friendship, they just aren't worth the energy. Besides suicidal people have waaaay too much guilt to begin with, you don't need any more. Be a big selfish bastard yourself and do things that you want to do, everything that you think is selfish and could be deemed as fun - even if just a little fun.

    I would just caution to leave Suicide last and self-destructive things second-last on a list of selfish things to do though...there is a whole world of selfish things you can get up to out 'there', and maybe when you least suspect it you will bump heads with some other selfish bastard/s that aren't fazed by any prior suicide attempts.
  11. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    Selfish? I guess that depends on the circumstances.

    In my case, it wouldn't be selfish, I would consider it as doing everyone a favour as there will be no one to mourn me. My so-called wife would get everything I have (which isn't a lot) and she can carry on all the better without me in the way. Presumably spending what money I have shopping for herself - at least that's what she good at.

    My passing would be nothing more than a passing inconvenience. Any funeral arrangements would only take place because the local binmen will refuse to pick up my body when they collect the trash every week.

    ...isn't life wonderful? :sad:
  12. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    I think suicide is almost always a selfish act.

    It's possible that it may be done with others in mind. For example, someone may try to fake an accident in order to allow their family to collect a life insurance policy. Or someone may believe that they will be able to donate their organs after they die and will therefore save someone else (this is almost never the case). Those cases are rare, I would guess.

    I know it sounds mean when someone says that it is selfish. But I think it might be a healthy attitude to have. The person committing the act is responsible for the decision, and they suffer the consequences of their action. Other people may suffer too, because of their relationship with the person. But if they understand that the person acted on their own, and for their own reasons, it may reduce feelings of grief and particularly guilt.

    That being said, it is still selfish for them to say such a thing, because they are thinking about their own feelings and how someone else's action would hurt them. They aren't thinking about the other person. But again, even if that's sad and mean, maybe it's for the best? Is it always wrong to be selfish? I personally don't think so.

    I'm not sure, this is just kind of my thought on it. I know that if I did kill myself, I would not want my friends or family to think that it was a reflection in any way on them. I would want them to know that it was my choice alone.
  13. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    Yes, very very much.

    If I only think about myself, I would have done it long long long time ago.
    I really don't care if I die from accidents or anything and not even scared of commiting suicide but I care about my family and friends more than myself so I try my best to be alive for ppl who love me.

    So if I or someone that I know commit suicide. I would get very hurt and sad. so yes, it is very selfish act.
  14. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Yes, yes it is. Your pain goes away but family and friends get hurt. I used to think otherwise and be all "But it's selfish for them to keep me living!", but it's not because they care for you. You can't expect family to give up on you and stop caring after they've birthed you, clothe you and protected you all their life.
  15. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I don't think suicide is a selfish act.....I don't condone it either but I know in my case I need love and a purpose in life and if there is neither why am I here?
    If I died of cancer, brain tumour or something like that people would say "no more suffering"
    but because they can't see the suffering of mental illness they say we're selfish to even consider it....I don't want to die..I want the suffering to stop..
    I have children who don't bother about me and yet I am supposed to be here just so they won't feel guilt when i'm gone....they are the selfish ones...
    I am trying so hard to find a reason to stay and that instinct to survive is at the moment greater than the instinct to leave....
    I think your friends are the selfish need support at the moment not them hanging guilt on you....
    we are your friends on here..we understand....
  16. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I agree.

    "Don't leave because I'll be in pain." That idea clearly to me shows that it is the other person who needs to look at their selfishness. In relationships, do we stay with someone just because if we left they'd be sad? If you love someone, you want what they want. And suicide is not an option that people take for no reason. Only if someone is suffering intensely, normally for a long period of time, do they take their own lives.
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