Is Suicide Selfish?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Fire-7, Feb 7, 2011.

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  1. Fire-7

    Fire-7 Member

    I am feeling suicidal. Even though I don't believe I will do it now (too afraid of eternal damnation), I know that there is a very real possibility that I will become hopeless enough to do it--regardless of any consequences. I have felt this hopelessness before. That's how I know How real it is. I can feel it deep down--and I am afraid of it.

    There are so many factors that play into feeling suicidal. It's not just one thing, but a culmination of things. I know this first-hand. I feel like no one understands me, or that there is something wrong with me, something I'm not seeing or getting that everyone else is. And I can't stand it. I can't stand the overwhelming shame of being different and wrong. I can't stand constantly feeling the eyes of judgment on me at all times. i feel that the question of "Why can't I be lik everybody else, or at least understand them" will never be answered.

    But I always hear people say that suicide is selfish. It's true that if you do it, whatever your circumstances, there is always going to be someone left behind of has to deal with, or clean up the mess. So, do you think that it is the most conceited--self absorbed act of all, or not? Why or why not?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2011
  2. painful

    painful Well-Known Member

    Of course not.its the other way around.what do people say when you try to kill yourself? "Why don't you think about how I would feel""I would feel misserable if you killed yourself".they're the selfish ones.they don't want to feel sadness but they expect you to put up with it!that's just bullshit.:blink:
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    It's neutral. In terms of respect for another person, suicide being selfish is half and half. Yes, it ends your suffering, and yes, it causes suffering.
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    With christopher on this one.

    It can be extremely stupid for someone to say things along the lines of "But you'll hurt the people left behind!" etc etc. Well have you thought how the person that wants to commit suicides feels? They feel like crap every single day. And all you seem to care about is 'how you feel' once they die.

    And sometimes people can't ever 'cure' their suicidal thoughts/mental troubles. It could be because of life circumstances etc. Things you can't change with the flick of a switch. Or maybe it's even because of OTHER PEOPLE.

    The best thing to say is, "If you were me. You'd understand." Because in the end they aren't you. They don't know what it is EXACTLY like to be you. They are ignorant of your perspective. As they are somehow 'mentally sound'. But I guess there's a few exceptions.
  5. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    There is always going to be a level of selfishness to the human race, if we don't look after ourselves, who will?

    Of course i am going to fucking care about how i feel once they die. Because i will be left with a fucking life time of pain...i have been left with that and it can be unbearable.

    It's a well known line to attempt to get someone to stick around. And in some instances it can work, because it's easy to forget that we have people who actually do care about us. And this can often prompt someone to remember how their actions affect others. To bring them outside of themself for a moment.

    Sure there are cases in which some people never get better, but you can't call me selfish for not wanting them to be premature in ending their life because it seems it never will never improve.

    I will never fucking give anyone permission or my ok to die. Yep it's fucking selfish and i hate their suffering, i hate my suffering.. fuck i don't even know what i'm saying. The end.
  6. Caster

    Caster Well-Known Member

    I'd have to agree the most with what LongRoad95 said.

    Another analogy is people who are selfish and keep their pets alive way too long even though they know their pets are suffering, yet they keep them alive so that they themselves do not have to suffer from the loss for as long as possible. What's different is for pets it's physical pain; for people it's usually emotional pain, sometimes both.

    When it's emotional pain that's been there for years on end and nothing seems to work and everything is hopeless, then I think it can be selfish on others' part. Especially when a lot of the time it's the selfish people causing the suicidal person a lot of their pain! It's unfair to make someone suffer for decades just so other people don't have to feel an ounce of pain TBH.
  7. LipsOfDeceit

    LipsOfDeceit Well-Known Member

    I think it's selfish. People who do it take away their own pain by inflicting it on others. Everyone around you will be affected by it, including acquaintances. Your life was given as a gift, so learn to treasure it. Also, think about the people who find the dead body. Causing people to be emotionally scarred with such an image is selfish.
  8. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    For me I am torn... I know people don't understand me and it hurts... that they think first of how they'd feel if I died instead of sadness and empathy... that I am sad and hurting...

    Then I think do to others what you'd want done to you... so then I panic and think OMG I don't want some to hurt endlessly but it would finish me to have to delete another persons number off my phone as they've died...
    So yeah I'd hate it if any of my friends or someone I know ends it!

    So sorry I am on the fence... torn as usual!
  9. Lost

    Lost Staff Alumni

    It's easy to label some selfish for taking their own life and I can see why but very few can truly understand what a person is going through when they reach that point unless they have been close them selves and if they could I doubt labeling a person selfish would be the first thing that comes to their mind.
  10. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Everything we ever do is selfish, because in the end, every single action we take is to ensure our own happiness. Same with other people. So is it selfish? Yes. Is what everyone else does also selfish? Yes.
  11. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    It will most likely deal a big blow to the people you like and that love you however there comes a point when you feel so empty that even that type of consideration goes out the window. You become living dead and emotionless.

    Frankly the value of a human life is overstated. We come from nothing and we end up as nothing.
  12. Itsme:)

    Itsme:) Well-Known Member

    I agree mostly with Domo...

    Yes the person is obviously feeling pain that is unbearable... and no one should have to go through that...
    But for the people left behind... its just gonna give them that pain so in that sense it is selfish...
    But although the friend trying to stop it is also in a sense selfish no friend is going to say 'i guess you are right... you should kill yourself'
    Because that person could get better in time, that person could have so much ahead of them that they aren't aware of, a support system and love from people they didn't even realise
    for the friends to be selfish... that means there is hope
  13. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Even if it is selfish, why does that really matter?
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Suicide is selfish because you're denying your soul a chance to grow and learn from your experiences. It also causes loved ones to become suicidal as well, so you will not only be taking your own life but possibly your loved one's life as well.
  15. NightRain

    NightRain Member

    Lots of people think so, but it's selfish letting a suicidal person live when they're clearly not happy..
    Sure there's "help" and stuff, but does that ever really help?? ._.
  16. Fedupforreal

    Fedupforreal Well-Known Member

    I'm offended by the constant demonizing of people who choose to take their own lives. "Cowardly" and "selfish" is bunko. It's not cowardly at all. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do.

    It also can’t possibly be selfish. A person who ends their own life is no more selfish than any other person in pain who desperately needs relief or release from that pain.

    People don’t take their own lives because they don’t love their kids or their spouses or their friends. They do it because they hurt. They hurt a lot and they hurt all the time. What doctors on these medical sites say is that suicide “occurs when a person's pain exceeds his or her resources and ability to cope.”

    Notice it doesn’t say that suicide occurs because a person is selfish or cowardly. That’s because that is not the case. Ever. This country is full of selfish, cowardly people. Okay then, so why aren’t we wall-to-wall with dead people? If anybody tells you it’s selfish and cowardly, then they are either speaking out of anger or ignorance, or they’re peddling magic beans and little balls of shit.

    If a friend or a loved one has taken their own life, that person must have been in a lot of pain. Why bash them after they're dead? And no, they did not commit suicide. Suicide is not something you commit. It’s something you do. People who kill themselves are not criminals. That’s called ‘tactical wording.’ When people use tactical wording, it’s because they want to tell you what to think. Not how to think—what to think. Run from those people.

    Talking about people who kill themselves in those terms—‘commit’ (as in a crime) and ‘selfish’ and ‘cowardly’ is done with intent. It’s to demonize these people. It’s to make those people sound weak and self-absorbed. More than anything else, it’s to keep other people from doing it. God-forbid the government loses a tax payer along the way.

    People who hurt as much as I do don’t always think clearly. That does not mean the decision I’ve made is not a rational one or a reasonable response to constant, intense pain.

    People who take their own lives or attempt to take their own lives are in crisis and in an intense amount of emotional pain and mental anguish. These people are not criminals or cowardly or selfish. They are in distress.
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    For me suicide is the same as murder. You're killing yourself instead of another human being.
  18. Fedupforreal

    Fedupforreal Well-Known Member

    I'd have to disagree with that. Suicide is no more murder than one person constantly eating junk food can make another person fat.

    We don't consent to this life so we don't have to accept delivery. If my body does not belong to me, then I have nothing at all.

    The difference is that when you kill someone else, you do it without their consent. That makes all the difference in the world, and makes the act of suicide not murder in the least little bit.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2011
  19. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    If being happy Is selfish,so be It.
  20. jaybirdssis

    jaybirdssis Member

    It can definitely be viewed as selfish by the survivors who feel that their loved one left them and they must grieve for years. It took me 20 years of deep grieving for one brother and now I must go through it all over again with another.
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