is therapy pointless?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Knightless, Jul 18, 2009.

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  1. Knightless

    Knightless Member

    Got a new therapist. I felt worse afterwards. It's not like I'm being difficult with the therapist. I'm open as possible. But it feels like I was just speaking to no one. Long pauses where I guess I was supposed to think. I just spent most of the time looking out the window. And it all went no where. The therapist barely said anything.

    The old therapist was someone I could have a conversation with. But didn't really help solve anyhting. As in there was no permanent change inside me. It was a temporary fix probably just from talking to someone. But they did open my eyes to many things. But they left - hence new therapist.

    I've needed help for years but was ignored. Family members have told me clear as day that I was nuts or used derogatory words. God knows why I wasn't given help. Therapy has only shown me partly why I am this way, but not told me how to deal with it. Fuck me - I could pick up a self help book from a store. Telling me to read one? Come on. The therapy focussed on the past almost entirely, with nothing of how I can move forward. I don't care who did what to who anymore - just wanna end it.

    The old therapist said I probably have depression as nothing in life gives me joy and its rare for me to feel any good emotion. I had an evaluation and my anxiety is severe.

    Now I have to go for another assessment to judge
    1. What form of therapy is best for me
    2. If my problem is severe enough to even need help

    number 2 is gonna finish me off. im labelled as a nuisance from the times in childhood i went to the docs (on my own) saying i was getting heart palpitations, hyperventilating, high heart beat rate, and muscle twitches and other other health issues. muscle twitching was ignored. heart palpitations were just put down to 'stress' and that was that. I was this year told that all these mysterious symptoms indicated anxiety. lol. Wish someone cared enough to connect the dots sooner.

    But a friend of mine was instantly labelled depressed just from being observed once - and medicated immediately. all in one session. no series of psych evaluations - nothing. was just general docs visit - didnt even complain about feeling down at first. And they are waaaay happier than me. Really leaves me asking 'Why!?'

    really feels like the damage is done. therapy is making me feel worse overall and not sovling shit. people still think im 'acting' crazy despite so much evidence otherwise. thinking i should just be medicated somehow and accept that the damage is done.

    I'm really done with this shit, dudes. Gonna have to solve it all on my own. Dunno why things are harder for me, but :poo:
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    therapy/counselling never helped me. counselling made me feel stupid, like as if telling my problems to them would make me feel better, when they have no idea about my feelings, and as for shrinks telling me why i feel the way i do, load of bs. i am what i am. sometimes i hate myself for it, but most of the time i dont care, about anything. it hurts like hell, and having people judge me, like im wrong for feeling like i do makes it worse. but they say its not wrong to feel like this but if it wasnt wrong, they would be out of a job.
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I've had several...too many to count. And while some were absolutely useless there were some, including my current one, who were very astute and helpful in working out some issues.

    Based on other threads like this, I guess I am lucky to have my current one as most people here have received little or no help from theirs.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    REally it takes awhile to find a therapist that fits. If it was your first appt then the past is usually what is dealt with getting a history is needed. Don't give up to easy on this one you need to ask questions as to what kind of treatment he will be using talk therapy Post tramautic therapy but ask to see where he is headed with you. Don't get too discouraged as it takes awhile to get use to each other. Be open say anything that you need to say even if your venting your frustration about not seeing progress this will give therapist something to work with.. take care
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I have to say I have found one-on-one therapy non beneficial. I wouldn't say it's useless but I agree with Mary, it takes a while to find a therapist who fits you.
    Personally I started to talk and just broke down, this kept on happening, to the point of where I couldn't get my words out.
    In the end I tried group therapy and that was fantastic, being surrounded by peers and a counsellor who has also gone through depression, I just felt more at ease and I want to definitely give that another shot. I think group therapy should be put forward more than one to one counselling should be.

    Don't give up on therapy Knightless, you may just need to find the right fit.
  6. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I think therapy is pointless

    here is what you gotta know out of therapy, nothing they will say or do will ever make you feel better, you just have to figure it out on your own
  7. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    It's true.
    They're not miracle workers.

    They're only there to give you suggestions, therapy is like playing pin the tail on the donkey.
    You've been spun around, and are walking towards the board to find the donkey, but you're walking the wrong way, they're just there to steer you towards the board... you gotta find it and stick the tail on yourself.
  8. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I've had three therapists and only one was helpful. My current one repeats himself every session, though he's made one or two interesting points.
    Really you just have to find the right one for you.
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    there are a lot of pointless therapists out there.. lets just leave it at that

    you have to listen to yourself a lot in therapy sessions, if something is not feeling right, then let the therapist know. good therapists will actually encourage this and encourage dialogue.

    you could ask her, why isn't she saying anything? those long pauses sound uncomfortable and it's no wonder you feel worse if you have severe anxiety.

    therapy is an ongoing process, it will develop and each person will grow but if you're feeling so bad at first, then let her know how her silence is unhelpful and ask her what she means to do, what her aim is, how she works and if this is for you. encourage her to talk if this is possible for you, and see her reaction, if she doesn't seem to be for you, then try another.
    if you haven't tried medication- you could see if it helps you but you don't have to take it forever. it's a bit like a plaster on a wound.
  10. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Well.... I don't have much experience with this topic and I just got my first therapist around a month ago. I'd be the first to tell you that it hasn't helped me at all but I know it will at some point just because things couldn't get much worse than were they were for me. I feel bad though because my parents are paying $40 a session after insurance while we are really trying to watch our money. I think you need time adjust to a therapist. Mine basically does all the talking because I have such terrible social anxiety that I would start shaking in his office and couldn't say more than a sentence to him at a time.

    Good luck and I don't think it's pointless... yet.
  11. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    Therapy has been pointless for me. Not one has ever been helpful for me, just repeating a bunch of the same things or suggesting things I've already tried. I guess it's a toss up, some people luck out and find therapy helpful. Others like me do not.
  12. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sometimes therapy also depends on how open you are to what they ask you to do. So often it seems pointless, when it really does have a purpose. I do not know what your experiences have been up to tis point. Maybe traditional therapy methods do not work for you. Don't give up on therapy. When you are searching for someone, let them know what you have experienced thus far and see what they feel they may have to offer. Tell them what methods have not worked in the past. If they have no other options in their bag of tricks, go on to someone else. I hope you do find something that works. :hug:
  13. suicidepsycho

    suicidepsycho Member

    for me it's not helpful too. like every other thing .. whatever i try to do or wherever i search for it, nothing helps me. i don't know what to do anymore and i can see only one thing that really can help and that is death.
  14. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    how do you feel about that?well...depressed? And how do you feel about that??Depressed... Agh yes one last question how do you feel abo..?I said depressed you moron who gets paid $300 an hour to ask one fricken question!!!!!
  15. skits

    skits Guest

    Depends on the therapist's personality and the approach.

    If you have tried therapist and have not found a match then tell them why you think you would like in a therapist or if it is easier what you didn't like about the previous therapist.

    I think the relationship with the therapist does matter. The more you feel comfortable with them the more you are willing to disclose and 'hear' what they say. When I felt that someone doesn't understand me I find it hard to listen to what they got to say.

    Also depends what you are looking for and what you hope to gain from therapy. The most popular form of therapy like CBT is not for anyone and some therapist who practice it do so coldly and this can advertly affect any progress.
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