Hi I really dont do this type of thing, but i thought it would be good to at least spill my feeling and story, just in case i trully decide to do what , well here go9es. I turn 40 tommorow and to be honest i havnet done nothing of great importace with my life, or to say i dont have anything important worth to continue on withl. I have 25% paralize due to a tumor in my back crushing my spinal cord and will be fully paralayed from the waist downsoon, Pain i a dialy friendemey of mine. I am on alot of pain meds just to be at the edge of pain agian. my wife has seemed to disconect from me and or marraige is in limbo, i love her but she shows no emotions back, and the sex life, lol. my two sons say 2 words to me a day hi and no. and all i do is sit in a chiar all day on the pc trying to find a reason to continue. so far none and dont say my kids need me. so i ask is there a heaven for me.