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Is there a reason to live??

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by june54, Jan 17, 2015.

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  1. june54

    june54 Member

    I am having a problem at the moment to want to be alive.

    Although I am under care of my NHS Mental Health Team I am
    not good at explaining myself when in a consultation.
    I don't have a valid reason to be alive when a 9yr old member of my family
    is about to go under a 12hr operation to give a little more quality of life
    and I have a few suicidal attempts which are not understood or accepted.

    There is a lot of sad history about this time including my mum who we
    lost nearly nine years ago and I still haven't gotten over her death. My dad is
    nearly 86 and I KNOW when I lose him my life WILL end but at the moment
    I am trying to hang in there for him

    I don't think I can hold on any longer but don't want to give people more
    grief for me needlessly, when they have so much on their plate anyway

    I believe it is my way of leaving life because I can't face the future which is really empty
    for me anyway

    just feel so sad and wonder when life will end
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi June...
    As they say it's about the road you've taken it's about getting there. You CAN over come these suicidal feelings, I think you should write out how you feel for your mental health team as they would understand you better then. You are certainly not alone in this. :hug:

    I hope your 9 y/o family member gets on well and heals!
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Hi June,

    I understand completely the struggle to make yourself heard/understood in a consultation - the best thing I have found to communicate properly is to write when I feel especially overwhelmed or bad and to simply hand that over rather than try to explain verbally to someone. Hopefully if the mental health team can get a clearer picture of where you are 'at' they will be able to formulate a better care plan.

    I hope that your family member makes it through the operation and that it is a success - the fact that they are undergoing surgery etc does not have any bearing on your right to a good life however. Giving up on yourself is not going to make their life any better.

    Take care and stay safe.
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