Is there a specific reason you want wo be alone?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fritz81, Aug 15, 2009.

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  1. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    Hi!

    I'm a newbie to this forum. I'm 28 years old and thinking about suicide for 3-5 years now. I can't remember the exact date and reason why i wan't to kill myself but the feeling has grown in me for some time now.

    So far i haven't killed myself because of my family and relatives but i'm quite sure i will do it within the timeframe of one year. But that is not the reason of my posting. Why i'm here is the question why people like us chose to be alone rather than be with friends.

    I only read some of the threads but it seems like i am not the only one around here who prefers to drink alone rather than with friends.

    Personally i don't understand it, have you found a reason for it?
     
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    partly i prefer to be alone because i dont trust many people i know, and partly because people dont like to be around me because im "weird" so its a case of meh
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I find it easier to be alone and be the real me rather than always pretending to be alright for appearance sake to my family and friends. It gets harder and harder each time and then you reach a point where you just cant anymore. You are just too worn out to pretend.
     
  4. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    weird can mean a lot of things. i think of myself as weird too, for many reasons, but most of my friends don't see me that way. i feel outside mostly because of a nerve desease which is called hyperhidrosis, it makes my life hell and i don't want to continue like this.

    what is your reason to feel apart from the mainstream?
     
  5. fritz81

    fritz81 Member


    i perfectly get what you want to say. it happens to me very often to, even the people i love get on my nerves. i know they are not pretending anything, still trying to be part of their social rituals is more than hard o swollow for me.

    i don't know who is more hurt. them or me?
     
  6. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    well i dress emo/gothic/skaterboy, i blare slipknot out of my mobile in public, i never go anywhere without my jacket and hat on, plus... i live in chav central, where my music and clothes are frowned upon. plus my thinking is past acceptable.
     
  7. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    don't get me wrong but to me it seems you only live in the wrong region because there are a lot of people who like to listen to the kind of music you like.

    i'm not from the states so i can't judge the dressing part but i don't think it is that important. i'm curious, how old are you?
     
  8. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    im in wales not america lol... worried why you wanna know my age but im 22
     
  9. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    no need to be worried, i'm just curious. for example i'm from austria, maybe that makes you fell more secure/better.

    the age question was just because i feel that the kind of cloth you wear is no reason to feel outside. of course i understand that the clothes stand for more than the musical preferences but still...
     
  10. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    maybe i should specify my case. i'm relatively normal if something like that exits. i hve some friends and i like my family.

    the problem i have is that i sweat for no obvious reason, more or less alll of the time. it is something that really destroys my life. i can't enjoy anything and more importantly i can't imagine holding down a regular job. till now i'm a student but i have reached the final phase of my stdies and i can't see how to continue.
     
  11. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    not worried now just confused...

    i have a my chemical romance tshirt, but i wear identical trainer styles but different colours (black with white skull and vice versa), skull baseball cap, blazer with ghostbuster badges, nightmare before christmas tie, skull tie, skull and crossbone laces etc. if it aint tracksuits and hoodies its frowned upon.

    so not much music influenced...
     
  12. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    ive heard of a few people with that problem.

    im sure theirs laser surgery to help with it
     
  13. fritz81

    fritz81 Member



    hm. interesting.


    of course i don't know you but is your style enough to make you an outsider?

    as i have already written i have other problems but i don't think i would be here for style questions.

    i don't want to take your problems lightly but compared to mine they seeme quite easily solvable.

    i'm sorry if i misinterpredted your situation or understood something wrongly.
     
  14. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    i'm sorry but you seem to mix up different things. i'm not aware of any laser therapy for hyperhidrosis and i fear i'm up to date with the current technology.
     
  15. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    you sort of have... i have no problem being an outsider. my problems are that i self harm, have planned the perfect suicide for years, just dont have all i need. theres a few other issues involved but id rather not discuss them.

    no offence taken though

    oh and i was refering to the sweating? they damage the glands to stop it.
     
  16. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    plus the threads about why we want to be alone not whats wrong with us.
     
  17. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    hm, seems we are somehow of the same kind.

    i'm thinking about killing myself for quite some time now. i can't really recall the exact time in point but i am wuite sure it is more than 3 years now.

    i don't really found a suitable method so far. i wan't a gun because it has to happen quickly and it has to be as safe as it can be.
     
  18. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    sure, my bad.

    i just got from one thing to another. please excuse my mistake
     
  19. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    mine will look natural. with a twist afterwards
     
  20. fritz81

    fritz81 Member

    to get back to the topic.
    why i wan't to be alone.

    personally i prefer to be alone because i can relate to myself better than to other people. very often i feel out of place because of my sweating, people don't tell me because out of respect but that does not make me feel better.

    the problem is the way i see/feel myself. the best would be if i just would not exist. that is the path i'm following, i hope i soon have the power to follow my plan.
     
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