Is there a thread or website where people just want to die?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mustang, Apr 2, 2013.

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  1. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Is there a thread or website where people just want to die?
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Mustang
    I think that sf is the best website of its kind. I have looked for others. But came up empty compared to sf. And I think this is a good place to post a new thread. After all, it is the suicide forum part of sf.

    Did someting happen that is making the feeling of wanting to die stronger now ?
     
  3. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Hi Flowers I want to die everyday! I have no purpose in life whatsoever, except just to die! I really can't see how people enjoy life. It is beyond me. Life is a miserable invention. I can't wait to die! Into nothingness, NOW that sounds inviting! There is not one thing keeping me here! For me there are more pros than cons in dying! Free from bills, free from laws, free from idiots! It's so freaking inviting!!!!!!! The happiest day of my life is the day I die!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Mustang
    I understand what you are saying. Sometimes i say it also. But also i believe that my life may well have a purpose that I, in my limited way of being able to see cannot discern. And if I cut this life short, I will lived the suffering but not have lived long enough to fulfill the purpose. It is enough to keep me going.

    As much as I do not like being here, as much as I am existing and not living, I still believe that there is something I have yet to see. And if leave too soon, there will be no way to get back in this form, if I see and understand the purpose... when its too late.
     
  5. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Hi Flowers, I felt that way about 10 years ago. That if I stuck it out I would find my purpose, I find that is a crock we tell ourselves to carry on just one more day, so we would feel some importance. But life is one big pain in the ass! I wish I was never fucking born!! There is absolutely no point to life at all. Nothing. Life is purely meaningless!!! I bet you haven't found that purpose yet huh Flowers. I love your little quote at the bottom, but alas, it's only a dream, not reality. Soon, I'm going to try a new concoction of pills, I've read about. This mixture should work. It has worked for other people. I have waited long enough on this earth for something to happen, but nothing is going to happen! If I post something here by this coming Monday, I will be pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  6. RenoBill

    RenoBill Active Member

    Well, I hope you post something this Monday, as it will mean things maybe have improved. I'm feeling much the same way, Mustang, but I'm hanging on, even if by a thread. I'm trying to find a purpose, and move forward. I know what you're going through and hope you can hang on also!
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: Please don't do it. It is NOT the answer, is it NEVER the answer. There are many options available to you, such as these sites (where we can support each other), your doctor can help, your psychiatrist can help, if you don't have one maybe it is time to. The samaritans are available to talk to 24/7. Please reach out.
     
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2013
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    purpose doesn't just fall on you, you have to make it happen...do stuff you like...but I understand that maybe right now, nothing makes you happy...

    I don't know my purpose, but I like the fact that I do a community supper every month with my neighbors and help them eat healthy...there were many months where I wanted to stop it all and stay isolated but now I look forward to it....it took time...I started in september of last year so I've been doing it for 7 months...I'd say it took me maybe 4 months for actually liking it and getting into it...

    hope this helps...btw...killing yourself with a concoction of pills is very unlikely to happen...because a lot of people survive those and become worse, like being ill, handicapped etc....pills are made in such a way that people don't overdose on them...find something you enjoy and hold on...do stuff that interest you, even if it's hard in the beginning...
     
  10. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all your concern. But, I have lived way too long! There is nothing here to keep me here. I could picture myself dead so easily. But, funny enough I can't picture myself doing anything else but dying. So many people have died either by suicide or accident with pills and I found the right combination after many, many years of trying. So hopefully these will be my last days on this miserable planet! I am so tired of this life and there is no way it will ever get better believe me. Saying it'll get better soon are lies we tell ourselves, to keep going. But it will never get better! Listen to me. I should have a degree in "Things will get better", They never will. Life is a cesspool! I see absolutely nothing good in being alive. Life is the worse invention ever!!!!!!!
     
  11. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    I find it's when things seem like they might improve that the ground then shifts beneath your feet and your looking at a new even bleaker landscape then before, which destroys hope. All one can realistically do in those circumstances is survive, like a refugee in a new world.
     
  12. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I disagree, for me it did get better with meds, it takes time, there are no magic instant remedy changing your thoughts and view on life...I still have down moments, but they aren't every day. I found things I care about and like and I chose to include them in my life...it's not perfect but I feel better doing these things...

    and there are many many cases of failed suicide attempts, where organs are burned from the chemical of pills and some because vegetable state, or paralyzed or they can no longer eat a lot of things due to the stomach, liver, intestines problems...it is not a wise solution period.

    you say you don't see yourself do anything else but dying, maybe it's time to day dreamed yourself doing other things you like, like going to the movies, doing a hobby...and repeat this daydream often, might not work at first but after a while it will...like I said it takes time and effort, nothing happens magically...
     
  13. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Hi all thanks for support and advice. But I have really had it with this life! I think medicating myself is just a mask or a band aid for the real problem. It won't fix a thing. But what drove me over the edge! Is my almost 4 year old daughter! She'll be 4 years old this April 13. It had been nothing but 4 years of torture for me! From day one we have been at each others throats! I have never hated someone so much as my own daughter! We don't get along from day one as I've said. I have no desire to be a father. Some guys are good at it, some welcome it, others can't wait to be a father. Me I don't want none of it! There is no point to it at all! I have never had anyone rub me the wrong way as she does! I can't wait to die! Death is a welcome friend, at least I know I will never be bothered again! Finally at peace, finally at rest! A permanent solution to a temporary problem. Yeah I know the cliche, but you know what if finally I'm free, it's worth the price! I don't want to live anyway so it's a plus either way. Like I said, if I;m alive monday, I will be PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have taken so many pills in my day but I always wake up and I'm not harmed or sick in away way. But like I said I finally found the right combination so this time it should work!I am so, so tired of this life! Death is a welcome friend! Thank you all.
     
  14. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    meds do help...if you had a heart condition you would take meds to help it so why not help your brain...depressed people don't create as much serotonin as they should, meds help that imbalance....

    I'm sorry you're not getting along with your daughter, but she's 4 right? you can't find stuff to do with her? like drawing, playdoh etc...why does she rub you the wrong way?
     
  15. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    This is the closest thing I've found to that. At least here you can post "I tried to kill myself today..." and other feelings I wasn't able to mention in other such forums and chat because of understandable rules but still...this place is a lot less restrictive I've found when it comes to what you can express and what you can't. I don't plan on advertising my suicide attempts to anybody here but I have found other people have done so and they haven't been suspended or banned for it. This is a powerful outlet for those who haven't given up hope and for those who have.
     
  16. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    I do agree though. I plan on taking my life in a very similiar fashion. Given the method I've chosen, it SHOULD work. But the human body is a very hard thing to kill so you just never know. I'll be pissed if it doesn't as well. God bless you brother.<3
     
  17. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    morning rush you bring up a good point about the meds, doubt I will consider it though. My daughter and I haven't gotten along from day one! The day she was born! We fight like cats & dogs! She don't listen to me, even the simplest thing for me to ask her to come to me, she don't even listen to that! She tells me to go away, get out of her room, that she wants a new daddy. Plus the fact that I don't want to be a father, I have zero interest in being her father or anyone else's. I don't have those "daddy instincts", nor do I want them. I figure once I'm gone she would have no memory of me, which would be good for her and my wife can make up any story about what happened to me she wants.
    Hi HelgasAngel, I also totally agree! All the people that have OD'ed on pills they can say all they want about how people don't die from pills. Well, I have found the perfect combination and when I go to sleep tomorrow night, it'll be my last! I'm not leaving a note.
     
  18. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    your girl is four years old, when they are two they challenge the parents so it's normal for a child to say that...and plus she probably feels that you don't love her so she lashes out to see if you really do care and love her...you're her father, so you should not let her order you around. How can she obey the rules and treat you with respect if you don't teach her that? she's not a mini adult...coming in the world with all your knowledge...

    and the paternal instinct you talk of, you're not born with that, it grows as you age and it is learned. No one is born a perfect parent, they learn just as the child learns...read books on the subject and see for yourself
     
  19. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Don't do it mustang
    Call your crisis nurse/mental health team and seek medical help dont wait till Sunday
    or simply call the emergency services now.
     
  20. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Hi all yes very, very unfortunately I'm still here! I don't know what happened I did exactly what my friends cousin did, he's gone how come I'm still here? I woke up real late, but I woke up! What crap!!!!! I think my next move is to just leave my wife & kid. Just walk out, it's my last resort!!!!!!!!
     
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