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Is there any going back?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TaylorCameron, Jun 14, 2012.

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  1. TaylorCameron

    TaylorCameron Member

    When nothing is able to eradicate my fears,I find solace in the thought of death.I have not been diagnosed with any mental illness(even depression) but struggle with numerous fears and issues in my life.

    Meds don't help,therapy doesn't help.I have only recently started completely confiding in close family.Even my best friend doesn't know why I want to kill myself.

    When you have the plans,have the security and peace of mind,how does one turn back from suicide? When the feel comfortable where they are,don't want to go back..don't want to be helped.

  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I never officially "turned back"... I still have plans. I've had plans for years. Instead of turning back, the plans just keep changing or getting delayed. Would I be okay with dying right now? Yes. But I'd rather find some happiness in life before I go. So I postpone and procrastinate, sit and wait, hoping for something to change. I get discouraged, drink, contemplate moving up the deadline and just getting it over with... have second thoughts, reach out, find another reason to hang on for a little bit longer... rinse and repeat... I guess part of me doesn't really want to go through with the plans. And it's possible that part of you doesn't want to, either.
  3. What helps me is thinking about my family and close friends. I think about how much they care for me and how hurt they would be if I went through with it. That's not exactly a happy thought, but it keeps me from harming myself long enough to call a suicide hotline or a friend and get some outside support.
  4. I set myself little goals and time frames. Sometimes my life is literally lived hour by hour,sometimes even if I can just get through the next minute. The goals I have are small, realistic. I also remind myself of the things I do love and hate the thought of leaving behind, my dogs. It's tough, an up hill battle and I often think that for the rest of my life I will feel like you do at times but then I remember that there have been some good days, at times more good days than bad. The thoughts may never fully disappear but they can get quieter x
    Hold on in there x
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