first off, i dont want to kill myself. i mean i do because it is the best option for me. but i would much rather have something to live for and keep on going. the problem is i dont have anything to live for.
so basically, i've lost all my friends for reasons unknown to me. people just decided they didnt want to talk to me anymore. and it isnt like one or two of them. i have 1 friend within 1000 miles and 1 more beyond that. i think it is god just trying to mess with me because my dog used to love me and all of a sudden she hates being around me. then there is my family that doesnt care about me. my two brothers dont really care but that is to be expected because they are my brothers. and there is my overprotective mother who "has tried everything" (her words) but the one treatment that worked for me she wont let me continue because she doesnt think pot is a solution. and my dad who would let me smoke and be happy but wont stick up for me against my mom. and i really cant think of anything to live for at this point. i've tried everything i can to fix my depression and nothing works except pot which i cant use. so now i am planning out my suicide because i have nothing else to look forward to. i have a big long story to go along with all this but i wont go into that unless someone really wants me to because it is extremely long.
so i guess really what i'm looking for is someone who can get somewhere in the neighborhood of understanding me. that alone might be something worth living for if i could find someone to talk to that understands me and wants to be my friend. but because of certain circumstances i cant find anyone who understands me. hell i cant even find someone who believes me. it doesnt really matter though. my life will be over soon enough
anyone got anything that might help me change my mind? (cause i'm not set in dieing. i just cant live in this misery anymore)
so basically, i've lost all my friends for reasons unknown to me. people just decided they didnt want to talk to me anymore. and it isnt like one or two of them. i have 1 friend within 1000 miles and 1 more beyond that. i think it is god just trying to mess with me because my dog used to love me and all of a sudden she hates being around me. then there is my family that doesnt care about me. my two brothers dont really care but that is to be expected because they are my brothers. and there is my overprotective mother who "has tried everything" (her words) but the one treatment that worked for me she wont let me continue because she doesnt think pot is a solution. and my dad who would let me smoke and be happy but wont stick up for me against my mom. and i really cant think of anything to live for at this point. i've tried everything i can to fix my depression and nothing works except pot which i cant use. so now i am planning out my suicide because i have nothing else to look forward to. i have a big long story to go along with all this but i wont go into that unless someone really wants me to because it is extremely long.
so i guess really what i'm looking for is someone who can get somewhere in the neighborhood of understanding me. that alone might be something worth living for if i could find someone to talk to that understands me and wants to be my friend. but because of certain circumstances i cant find anyone who understands me. hell i cant even find someone who believes me. it doesnt really matter though. my life will be over soon enough
anyone got anything that might help me change my mind? (cause i'm not set in dieing. i just cant live in this misery anymore)