Is there any hope for happiness in a life alone?

[ItThing]

I'd like to hear as many opinions on this subject as possible.

 

[middleofnowhere]

Happiness, in general, is a choice. Sometimes it just happens and takes us by surprise. C. S. Lewis wrote, "Surprised by Joy".

Surely, there are both benefits and drawbacks, but being alone does not equate being unhappy.

 

[Stranger1]

I don't know about happiness, but you get use to it.I know because I am an isolationist. I don't do well around people. My anxiety and my socialphobia kick in and I half to go to my room because it is the only place I feel safe. Sure the first couple of years I wondered if I would ever feel happy again. With time that all fades away and you accept the fact that this is what your life consists of so get use to it.
My therapist told me to get a puppy. She said there love is unconditional, and it gives you someone that relys on you to train them, and play with them, feed them, take them for walks... yes I said walks. I walk him up the street and back. I do this early morning hours when there aren't to many people out.Good Luck:chopper:

 

[Darken]

I'm not sure, but we are social beings, It's what has gotten us this far. Your mind tells you to mate, it is like one of the basic instincts of our lives. So it's not impossible to be happy alone but its very unlikely also. I geuss.

 

[touglytobeloved]

It depends of the person, For me, there is no hope.

 

[fromthatshow]

There's always hope. You're still here, aren't you :smile:

 

[ItThing]

Thanks all, I'm just wondering because I always have difficulty with people, but I've decided I should seek therapy, because I haven't had any for years. I'm just afraid of how my parents will react, I don't want them fussing over me until I've actually had the therapy and can cope with sharing my feelings with them. Right now I just don't feel any obligation to share my feelings with them and they'll start pestering me about it for sure if I openly admit that I am too depressed not to have therapy. Any advice?

 

[dazzle11215]

set some limits around them. therapy, and *your* decision to go for counselling (congrats btw) is private. when you are ready, if you are ready, you can share more with them. do you have to tell them because they are paying for therapy or will be giving you lifts? or is it more of an emotional entanglement rather than a practical one.

 

[ItThing]

Well both, because I they are providing for me and there's no way to avoid telling them, and it's not as if they nag I just don't want to be rude while being able to set limits on our personal connection... I think I will need them if I am to help myself in the long run, but I need to decide about that. Thanks for the support!

 

[beauutyy]

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

 

[ItThing]

Yeah, but the problem is I'm afraid of losing what I have.

 

[beauutyy]

if you hold onto it,you wont.and if you do, well there are many cornors,doors,and opportunties in life, if there was only one door for every person,half the world would be dead, and so if something slips away from you, you can always find something else in life. things are being thrown are way all the time, and half the time we bypass it cause we are content with what we have,or dont notice. but i think you will be okay

 

[Stranger1]

I for one am glad you decided to seek therapy. It is not an over night fix. It takes a little while for a new client to build the trust with the therapist. If they are good at what they do, it will be a painless transition.
Just take one step at a time you will start opening up and everything will come out. Trust me I know because my therapist knows evrything about me. You have one thing going for you and it's you are able to survive in this world.
Again I am extremely happy for you. Good luck with it and stay strong::chopper:

 

[ItThing]

Thankyou stranger, your unconditional support means a lot to me, I hope I can find a therapist who can help me like yours does.

 

[dazzle11215]

being alone does not equate being unhappy.

just wanted to add, i agree with this statement. we can be in a relationship and lonely; we can be alone and happy.

i am also in counselling. it's a relief to finally challenge some of my negative self-talk, and to finally lay to rest some issues from my childhood. good luck in the talk with your parents. if they are good & supportive, the main thing they will want is for you to be well again. let us know how it goes?

 

[demonhunter999]

Absolutely there is hope given the experiences of people who have lived alone and claim to be happy.

 

[janie]

Thanks all, I'm just wondering because I always have difficulty with people, but I've decided I should seek therapy, because I haven't had any for years. I'm just afraid of how my parents will react, I don't want them fussing over me until I've actually had the therapy and can cope with sharing my feelings with them. Right now I just don't feel any obligation to share my feelings with them and they'll start pestering me about it for sure if I openly admit that I am too depressed not to have therapy. Any advice?

one way of looking at it is you just have to find the kind of people who just dont care- (i dont know whats making you and contact with other people hard but) dont care about social awkwardness, dont care about not having crap to say, dont care about wanting to be alone at least 3hrs aday... the problem is those kinda ppl will prolly be at the extreme ends of the bell curve

 

[ItThing]

I try to be myself, the qeustion is how can I be both comfortable being myself and have others be comfortable with myself as well, with out sacrifice on either side. Maybe I should think more about who cares about me, who is worth my trouble?