So, since april 15th, I've been in a recovery house. And since march 10th, I have not touched any alcohol. I would like to say that I feel good about this, but there are times I don't and I just feel like saying fuck it all. Last night, this guy who has nearly completed this recovery program got kicked out for using. Earlier that night, he shared in a meeting about how he was getting closer to God and stuff like that. He always shared in meetings and told people to turn to their sponsor or to others in the program no matter what. I'm not mad at him or anything...he's human. And I know that his relapse has nothing to do with my recovery or sobriety. But right now in my own life, all I feel day in and day out is that I am just maintaining and I don't know how much longer I can keep doing that. Sorry for rambling and being vague, but it's just been a frustrating couple of hours for me.