Is there any point

[Mulder]

Is there really an point to life, would ending it be that terrible, I mean nothing that waits in the abyss could be as bad as the torment and hell I create for myself. Talked to my mum today thought that maybe if I told her about the way I feel that maybe being my mum she would know what to say. I told her I felt a disappointment that things weren't going to well for me, guess caught her on an off day "maybe you feel like a disappointment because you are one,just like your father, you should be more like your sister." So she wants me to be a narcissistic manipulative person. All I seem to do is disappoint maybe would just be easier to give up I mean its not like I have anything to offer the world. I'm nice and considerate but no one wants that. Made me feel so worthless I cut myself,yet another scar to remind me of how disappointing I am.

 

[Sadeyes]

Hi Ed...when someone does not recognize how much pain we are in, especially someone like a mother, it is so painful...her response to you was crude, at best, and should not be considered anything that reflects who you are...it tells you who she is...please know that being a kind, considerate person is so very valuable, and it is so unfortunate your mother cannot/ does not acknowledge that...again, her problem!

 

[Stranger1]

Hi ED,
You never know whats around the corner if you don't take a look.. Things can be better.. I never finished high school because my parents kicked me out of the house because I came home stoned all the time..Eventually I landed a good job that paid very well and had excellent benefits..I worked there for ten years before I had a nervous breakdown and had to stop working..My point is that good things are out there you just need to look for them..Stay on a positive path..

 

[Marathon-Running-Bunny]

Is there really an point to life, would ending it be that terrible, I mean nothing that waits in the abyss could be as bad as the torment and hell I create for myself. Talked to my mum today thought that maybe if I told her about the way I feel that maybe being my mum she would know what to say. I told her I felt a disappointment that things weren't going to well for me, guess caught her on an off day "maybe you feel like a disappointment because you are one,just like your father, you should be more like your sister." So she wants me to be a narcissistic manipulative person. All I seem to do is disappoint maybe would just be easier to give up I mean its not like I have anything to offer the world. I'm nice and considerate but no one wants that. Made me feel so worthless I cut myself,yet another scar to remind me of how disappointing I am.

What has happened to make you feel that you are a disappointment to yourself..? Just turn a deaf ear to whatever negative/sensitive remarks your mum says.. Don't self harm pls.. :hugtackles:

 

[peacelovingguy]

Your mum is likely unaware her comments hurt you so much - I'm sure she'd be shocked you cut yourself.

As for being nice and considerate - plenty of people see that as a great way to be.

You are likely suffering depression which makes you have this 'dark' view about life and the future. This is not who you are anymore than you at the height of a nasty flu would be who you are.

We get ill we feel lousy.

Good news is - you can get better, and hope you take steps to do that.

I'm sure your life will be one that makes you wake up one day soon and be thankful for the small mercies we get thrown our way. Get yourself back on track and you'll be OK I'm sure.

 

[solutions]

nothing that waits in the abyss could be as bad as the torment and hell I create for myself.

I find this comment deeply disturbing. You do not deliberately torment yourself. Reaching out on this forum is a small step, but I think it's evidence that you have no intention of creating torment for yourself. So stop blaming yourself.

Your mother's comment could be a thoughtless remark, or it may have been deliberately hurtful. Regardless, it hurt you, as it would hurt pretty much everyone.

I'd like to hear more. What is it, exactly, that's making you want to kill yourself?