Well because, you can beat depression, you don't have to feel that way the rest of your life. I know it's not that way now, but it can get better. I can take my past 14 years track record with my health, and assume I will likely never function and be able to live my life beyond just sitting and laying in bed again, except on the few rare days, things get a little better. The likelyness that these college courses I start taking next month, and that I will ever be able to work, slim to none.. The likelyness that I will ever feel like my old self again, one chance in a million.. But I'm not going to kill myself today, I know that option is there tomorrow or the next day or whenever, but I'm going after that one in a million chance first. You die, you don't come back. I don't want to leave the people I love, yet I could be left to face that if things don't change. You really don't know though what the future holds until you live it. 10 years from now, you might win the lottery, for all we know.. I would just hate to see you give up. If you've been happy before, you can be that way again. Everytime things get bad, we can't fall into the pattern of thinking self harm is the way out. You have to find a way to work through the problems your having. If you don't really know how, therapy is a good place for support and advice. And maybe we can help to. I know I'd give it a good try, at least.