I am in a crisis situation. 47, married, can't talk to my wife because we are so withdrawn from each other. I am so close to taking the final step, yet something tells me that this will pass. It's been going on since last year when my mother had a stroke. I left a good job (that I can't get back) to care for her when she had the stroke in January. After six months, I finally settled back down and tried to find work again. It's been since March, and I can't get a job. The bigger picture is this: I have limited skills and a worthless degree in speech communication (Rhetoric). I have struggled my whole life with failure. Let me say that again, just so there aren't any misconceptions. I HAVE STRUGGLED MY WHOLE LIFE WITH FAILURE. No blaming my parents, they had their own problems and did the best they knew how to do to raise two sons. My older brother is very successful and smart. I was always struggling in school, it took me 15 years to complete a BA degree. I am and always have been a complete failure. I've had three good friends in my adult life that I now have very little contact with. I have no children, but that's another chapter, and doesn't really matter anymore. I am ready to die. I hate to say this, because I've fought so hard to do the right things, to be good at my job, to make a good impression on people. But every single time, no matter what I do, no matter what the circumstances, people end up realizing that I am a loser, and I always fail. I just don't want to go through the failure anymore. I can't take it anymore. I feel so worn out, so tired of trying and failing at everything. It's just so hard to face failure over and over again.