or better whats my problem? I feel suicidal for most of my life, maybe even before i were 14, now im 30+. I always thought, maybe these suicidal feelings go away if i do this or that, if i change something. So i tried alot and made it to today. But since 2 years i ran out of ideas or options to try to cure my "depression" Since feb. i wanted to try the last thing i never did, find a medical treatment. It took 6month to get into a mental day hospital. Im there now for 2 weeks. I really hoped, that something in my brain is just not working right, so it would just be taking pills and then working on my thinking strategies. But yeah my bloodtest was very good, heart beat and brainwaves very normal too. What should i do? Yes the hospital helpes with calming down and the distraction of beeing out and with ppl from 8am to 3pm ist good. But thats only temporary. And temporary isnt what helps me. My sleeping is better tx to the new pill i got, but... thats not the cure. Every single day im thinking about suicide. If i would like to have a shiny future with husband and stuff i could have it, but i dont want to. There is just nothing in life that i would enjoy so much to keep me going <,< Do you guys have a stratergy?