Is there anything wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ilovewoodchuck, Dec 28, 2008.

  1. ilovewoodchuck

    ilovewoodchuck Active Member

    What is wrong with me? I have a fantastic husband, who has been so supportive to me going through the grief of the loss of my mother. He is a wonderful father to our daughter (who is 5). Before my mother passed, we were sort of trying to have another. What I mean by sort of is our sexual relationship has suffered immensely since the birth of our child. His interest has drastically decreased, and even when I beg (which I shouldn’t have to beg), he lasts only 5-15 min. That’s not nearly enough time for my gratification. So I’ve begun to look elsewhere. The first was an old college friend of mine. He actually dated one of my best friends in school. So he lived about 2 ½ hr away, so every so often, from 2x/wk to every other wk, we would meet in a hotel in the middle. That relationship fizzled, so my next prey I picked up @ a bar I lurked as a single woman. This made me feel so good! For years, I felt unattractive, fact, and not sexy bc I felt my husband didn’t want my body. This relationship went on a per needed basis from each other for months. This was quite convenient until he decided to get serious with another. The current, with much shame, is my husband’s best friend. His wife is a friend of mine as well. For years, I’d fell we were merely acquaintances until my mother passed. I’d never seen such compassion and empathy from her in my life. Now I feel extra bad. But the sex with her husband is mind blowing. She doesn’t appreciate any of his qualities, and only bitches about his flaws. He, too, is a wonderful father, and speaks belittlingly about his size, which I find more than satisfactory. Another twist to the story is my ex-boyfriend. He & I have stayed friends for the past 12 years since we have broken up. He even came to my wedding. He texted me about a month ago telling me how horny & drunk he is. Within 5 minutes, he texts me again and apologizes. Instead of accepting his apology and letting it go, I took him up on his invitation to sex text. So we did. And it was exhilarating!!!!! So I go to my husband and beg of him to release the energy someone else had built, and he was done in 5 min. That was not nearly enough for that much sexual tension built up, so I call his best friend the next day. We only had 30 min for his lunch break, but 4 climaxes within that span! OMG!!!!!! I didn’t know my body was capable!! I know my husband & I have our issues, but is it wrong for me to look elsewhere for a band-aid on the situation? We are going through grief therapy right now, and I feel that takes precedence over our sex life. We‘ve discussed the issue, and we plan to seek therapy after grief issues are resolved. What do you think?
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    you are potentially ruining alot of lives if this comes out hun, i understand when you are in this kind of state that sex can be an out let for covering your emotions, that the pleasure from orgasms can cover the pain and misery inside, and if your husband is not seeing to that, look elsewhere may seem like a good option, but just think how bad you will feel once everything is back on with your husband, when your both healthy and focused on each other again, you may feel a little dead from it. i know i did in a similar situation.
    think about what will happen to your marriage if it gets out what you have been doing, what will happen to your friends marriage, and then all the others involved, children mutual friends etc. its not the best thing over all.

    fucking the pain away never works, it only suspends the pain for a while.

    if you feel like none of this applys to your situation then hun i think you may need to reexamine your marriage and thik is it really what you want, or are you just staying in it because its comfortable, or because of the kids?

    i'm here if you need me :hug: