Is there hope in medication?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scareddude, Jun 30, 2014.

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  1. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Just had another wasted day. Called in to my volunteering to tell them I was unable to come in, and spent most of the day in pain, uninterested in everything, sleeping.

    The thing I hold on for (I mean, I don't attempt suicide most days. I do sometimes turn to cigarettes and alcohol, and I don't work as hard as I should) is the hope that things will get better, and the route to things getting better for me always presents itself as medication.

    I've never tried a mood stabiliser. I don't know if you've seen the (very sad) documentary Boy, Interrupted. But Evan Perry had bipolar disorder, and went from arguably a suicide attempt at a very young age to being one of the top students in his high school (or the top) when he was medicated, but then when taken off his lithium, he committed suicide at 15. So I wonder if being on a mood stabiliser would help me, as although my psychiatrist has given me an assessment for bipolar disorder and concluded I don't have it, I do show some symptoms, I think.

    My current diagnoses are schizophrenia, social phobia and Asperger's, and I'm taking the small doses of 10mg aripiprazole daily and 50mg sertraline daily.

    I have overspent in a big way when I've been in a good/grandiose mood, and I made arguably a suicide attempt in a low mood. Today was a low day, as have been the last few days.

    I usually last 3 months at a new activity like work or volunteering or studying. Then I drop out of it. Either I just get sick of things once the novelty wears off, or those 3 month spells are good spells in my mood.

    I don't get pressure of speech during my good moods, and this is one reason why my psychiatrist thinks I don't have bipolar disorder.

    I also want to try ritalin, to see if it'll help me to study my way out of my (relatively) crappy situation, but the psychiatrist can't prescribe it without me having an ADHD diagnosis, or something like that.

    It's not just a crappy situation getting me down though. I've been down at times since the age of 11, with thoughts of suicide, and I was from a well-off family and got good grades, so that, although I only started thinking about money at about 17, the expectation was that I'd get a high paid job. Even if I had all the money, achievement and adulation in the world, I'd probably still have all my low days and be looking for a release from my pain.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, a simple answer to your question: YES there is definitely hope in medication. I have PTSD, MDD, BPD, clinical anxiety. They have given other diagnoses but the psychiatrists didn't agree so we will stick to what I have mentioned.

    For starters.. I am on valium for anxiety- works wonders. There is an odd day that I will feel it's not working but 99% if the time it is superb :)

    Ambien (stilnoct) - for sleep. Worked when I started on it, worked very well for months then stopped...have serious difficulty sleeping now.

    Lyrica (pregabaline) as a mood stabilizer - works wonders and is great for anxiety.

    Phenergan (sedative) - this stuff gives me headaches but it does work some nights as a sleep aid, not ruling this one out yet.

    Setraline (Zoloft) - Started on this about 3 weeks ago, on 150mg now. I feel okay and less anxious for now..still waiting for the full effects of this drug.

    In the past I have taken a LOT of different medicines and it can take a long time to find the suitable drug(or combinations) for you.

    Also..I see you're on setraline, it was the 2nd most prescribed anti depressant in the US in 2011, so I guess this one helps a lot of people.

    I have never heard of that documentary until now-maybe will look into it, thanks for the reference :) Don't quit yet!!! Even though the answer to everything in life is not in a capsule, they certainly can make your life more tolerable. Good luck to you :hug:
  3. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Thanks for giving me hope! I'll try to stick it out. I've got my psychiatrist again in about a month, so I'll see what he says.

    You're welcome about the reference. It was a good documentary, I think, but very sad.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are very welcome..ever need anything just drop me a message :) x
  5. cancelMe

    cancelMe Member

    Ive been on welbutrin for 2 weeks now, MUCH better than prozac, kind of an upper but still the anxiety gets to me. i really want my doc to give me something for anxiety. before i was on prozac...terrible, just numb zombie like state...
  6. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Really need some advice.

    Supposedly a drop in income/potential is common with schizophrenia.

    But I've gone from quite high potential/income to pretty low.

    I want to try a mood stabiliser, but my psychiatrist says I don't need it.

    I've really dropped though. I went from being really good at school to dropping out of uni (I got higher than average entrance grades for my course, the average grade coming out is a 2:1, and I've dropped out). Today I couldn't face my volunteering and I went out and bought vodka and cigarettes.

    I think I'm getting a reputation at my local off-license. I know what it's like to work, having done a bit of it, and I think they see me coming in and buying my cheap cider and cigarettes and get really pissed off. I want to stop going there and stop my bad habits.

    I've ordered nicotine patches, but the fundamental thing is I'm not the sort of guy who just likes smoking and wants to live long at the same time. Sometimes I want out, so I actively choose cigarettes for their harm potential.

    I want to try ritalin or mood stabilisers. The way I see it, right now, the best I can hope for is a basic job, and unsatisfied "stability". I'd rather gamble and try some different medications, even if it risks my life (which it probably won't), given that I don't really want my current life anyway. But the psychiatrist says he "can't argue with the success of my current doses", as if my life is in any way a success.
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I would keep arguing your case as it is evident your current doses of medication is not making you feel any better. I've recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I'd been on a load of anti depressants that evidently did not work. Funny how after a diagnosis and being put on an anti psychotic and mood stabiliser together, my moods have stabilised drastically and do not feel the extremes as much, so I do think there is hope in medication. I also know someone that has borderline personality disorder who struggles with depression (so is not bipolar) who takes lithium (mood stabiliser) to boost the effect of her anti depressant, so maybe that is something you could suggest. But 50mg sertraline is a pretty low dose and I think your pdoc should be looking at increasing it.
  8. nessa456

    nessa456 Active Member

    Hi Scareddude

    I have Aspergers and I am very prone to depression and can lose interest in things very easily

    I don't seem to have a very high capacity for happiness even if things are going well

    I am on anti-depressants - Venlafaxine 150mg a day and I see a psychologist each week

    This has enabled me to stop feeling suicidal and make progress

    You can't just rely on the anti-depressants to make you feel better - they are meant to lift your mood sufficiently so that
    you can be more active and do constructive things to improve your life

    ie you have to work at it

    I try to exercise or do yoga every day and think this is a major help in keeping my mood
    more stable

    I find it very hard to motivate myself to even go out of the house but I find that having the goal
    of losing weight/getting fitter is helping me to keep focused

    You need to have at least one goal to focus on each day so that you get a sense of achievement when you complete it
    and this will improve your self esteem and mood so that you are then on an upward spiral instead of a downward one

    alcohol is not a good idea at all as this is a depressant and will make you feel worse

    You can pm me if you need to talk
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2014
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