Is There Someone In Your Past You Can't Get Over?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Sleepwalk, Oct 18, 2011.

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  1. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    I've never had a problem getting over relationships in the past. In fact typically when a relationship ended I felt relieved, having known on some level it wasn't right.

    Then her. It's been over four years since we broke up, though we did spend the next three meeting up to sleep together "one last time" several times. I think about her all the time, and I miss her like crazy. We have mutual friends who insist on telling me how she's doing which one one hand I want but the mention of her name always brings back those feelings.

    Anyone else dealing with this, carrying a torch for someone from your past? Perhaps does everyone have someone that still affects them years later?
  2. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    It took 4 years to finally accept that my ex and i would never get back together however i'm not truely over her, I get jealous when i see her with her boyfriend but i can't figure out whether i'm jealous of him or her, I don't mean her as in i want to be with him but jealous that she as found someone new and moved on with her life and i haven't.

    we remained friends, which i think made it worse and we did sleep together a few times after our break up which again made it worse because it gave me false hope.

    I believe the best way to get over someone it to completely remove them from your life and if that's not possible then reduce the amount time you spend together and try to get on with your life focus on something, such as your career or studies, making new friends and hobbies or even travelling.

    I Hope you find a way to move on.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Yep! hate the bastard, so he's still in there whittling away at me :mad:
    5 and a half years and he still invades my dreams.
    Wish I could take a "wipe that memory" pill.
  4. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    I'm 21 and never been in a relationship, nor have I ever been in love. Should I feel lucky?
  5. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    probably, if you start one now your expectations will be too high and youll feel all shell shocked if youve been deprived to a really high extent
  6. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    yup, but i wont get back with her as a matter of principle. will never stop me loving her though
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Yup, there is. I wouldn't say I can't get over this person, but it hasn't been easy.
  8. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Yep. I miss her more than is probably healthy.
  9. S8pxph

    S8pxph Active Member

    I hate to admit it, but the more I try to deny it the more I realize I still love him. I don't show it because he treats me like crap, but I still do nice things for him all the time and just try to make him happy in any way possible. I figure that if I'm not the one he loves, the least I can do is make him happy. When he's happy, I'm happy, regardless of whether he's being mean to me or not. It's kind of pathetic, but that's the path I've chosen. Beats the hell out of not having him in my life at all. Kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place, I guess.
  10. therapy_fan

    therapy_fan Well-Known Member

    Two and a half years since i last i seen her. And every time i close my eyes she is there clear as day! :(
  11. WhyShould?

    WhyShould? Guest

    I miss boo. Get over boo? It is not possible!!!!!!!
  12. JeffNY

    JeffNY Member

    I miss my ex everyday, i'm tearing up right now just thinking about her.

    It pains me knowing she is talking to her ex again and i'm here stuck on the side just dreaming about my past. I just can't shake the thought of her and I keep feeling like I need to find a girl now to replace her and fill this void. It's hard to figure out how exactly I am supposed to keep pushing.
  13. Lana

    Lana Well-Known Member

    I second that!
  14. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    Though I wouldn't wish this lingering pain on anyone it is nice to know I'm not alone. And I would take that "wipe that memory" pill in a heartbeat. I really thought as I distanced myself from her I would be able to find, if not joy in the memories, at least relief from the pain of missing her, yet nearly five years later the mere thought of her just kills me.
  15. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    I know at 21 the last thing you want or need to hear is that you have lots of time, but it's as true as it was when I didn't want to hear it at 21. I wouldn't worry about finding something serious until you are a little more sure of who you are and where you want to go in life.

    I thought I had myself pretty much figured out at 21 but it turns out I was way waaaay off.
  16. houseofcards

    houseofcards Well-Known Member

    We broke up 7 months ago and I still wish he never dumped me. I'm a lot more OK about the situation, but it still hurts me EXTREMELY bad. It sounds over the top, but I'm considering staying away from relationships completely because I fear getting dumped again and being attached too much to let it go like I did with my previous boyfriend.
  17. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    my mom's death and the ensuing years of my childhood. besides that, nothing
  18. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yep!! We met when we were 16 and courted off and on until we were 19.. She went to a different school so that made things tough.. I got into drugs and one night we were out and she was ready to give me her virginity..I couldn't go thru with it.. She was a nice girl and I was a drug addict.. I told her to put her clothes back on and took her home.. I told her I wasn't any good for her..I'm 54 now and I still remember that night,..I made the biggest mistake of my life.. All the women I have been with since have cheated on me..I give up..
  19. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    Yes, I was with her for 9 years ans she was the love of my life. Even though she was extremely cruel to me I still long back, if I could somehow turn back time and change those things. I have constant nightmares of abandonment, when I can manage to get some sleep that is. I hate the fact that she's out there living out all her dreams and I sit here and crumble to pieces.
  20. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    I'm 39 and the person in question was in my life from when I was 23 to 30.She was two years younger than me,we were so close and had so much in common,moved in together within 6months and got a mortgage on a house within two years. I honestly thought I'd met the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.The first five years were bliss and flew by but then the cracks started to appear,I had to work odd hours with my job as being self employed you have to take the work while it's there. My depression started coming to the surface along with social anxiety which she found difficult to deal with. I didn't like going out and she started going out with girlfriends until one night I said that I couldn't see us lasting with the way things were going. I didn't mean I wanted it to end but within a week she turns around and says I'm right and she wants out!! She moved out within a week but she used to phone me once or twice a week,I soon found that I was looking forward to those calls too much,it just wasn't healthy. I told her that it had to stop for my sake and she cried her eyes out but agreed.That's when time stopped for me,I kind of gave up on life after that. She haunts my dreams,I've had so many dreams over the years where we fall into each others arms sobbing tears of joy and regret about the years we've spent apart. Of course I wake up alone and upset at how my dreams could be so cruel to me. I'm done with love now,I think il leave it for the young.
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