Is there truth in anger?

Witty_Sarcasm

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SF Supporter
#1
If someone says hurtful things about you when they are angry, would you think this is how they usually feel about you, but are too afraid to tell you? Or are people not thinking rationally when angry? Just trying to figure out how I should feel about some things.
 

Ziggy

Antiquitie's Friend
#2
I tend to think how I react to things is more about me than the other person. If I see a friend I may think "that was a fun night out" or "that was rubbish, he was so annoying" etc. but I think it's my state of mind that changes as he stays pretty constant as a person in the way he is. Again how much I enjoy taking a walk in the park or watching a film, usually is more about my state of mind than the actual park or film itself. I'm not one for relationships but I used to sometimes get angry with my cat and she was adorable and I was in a bad mood, but I appreciate you're not a cat... so not much help there!
 
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Witty_Sarcasm

πŸ¦„πŸ¦œπŸ§πŸŒˆπŸŒπŸ’–
SF Supporter
#4
I guess these are good points. But sometimes if I'm the target of someone's anger and they say things about me that are hurtful, I start to wonder if they are actually true. Like maybe I'm a bad person and don't realize it.
 

CrashArtemis!

Well-Known Member
#5
Just like there's rose tinted glasses when people are in love, there's seeing red when someone's angry.

Try not to take their view of you as the truth, there's more valuable things to spend your time on ☺️
 

NothingMuch

Well-Known Member
#7
I think I'm going to agree with @Butterfly on this one. To me, the goal of saying things in anger is to be hurtful, defensive, or justified in their own wrongdoings. If they can't think of a hurtful truth then the next best thing is a convincing lie.

It's hard to figure out if this is how a person really feels about you. Have they said this hurtful thing to you on more than one occasion? It could be a sign of their truth, even if they continuously take it back later.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

πŸ¦„πŸ¦œπŸ§πŸŒˆπŸŒπŸ’–
SF Supporter
#8
Now that I think of it, some people have said bad things about me repeatedly. It just seems more prominent when they are angry about something. Maybe it's more about them than it is about me.
 

NothingMuch

Well-Known Member
#9
I guess it boils down to who said it, what was said, and the situation it was said in. It if were me, I'd either have to do some self-reflection or I may need to drop that person like a hot potato.

Without knowing anything about you, I'm going to say you're not a bad person. I've had family members say what I thought were hurtful things to me at the time...but upon further reflection and talking to them, I found out they were just worried as hell about the direction my life was going in.
 

Aves

Well-Known Member
#11
If someone says hurtful things about you when they are angry, would you think this is how they usually feel about you, but are too afraid to tell you? Or are people not thinking rationally when angry? Just trying to figure out how I should feel about some things.
It’s a difficult one for me because usually I would just feel that if someone was angry with me then that meant they hated me but I’m starting to realise now that other people can have other reasons for saying horrible things to you. It’s not always about you. Anger is cruel in my opinion and very quick to react so we don’t always realise what we are saying when we are in an angry place.
 
#12
One of the wisest lessons I ever learned was that if someone says something bad about you, you have to look at the intention behind it. If the intention is to genuinely help you (whether or not it is said in anger), then maybe you should listen. But if the intention is to knock you down or for their own purposes, then ignore it and be on your guard against that person.
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#13
I would also agree about the person and the possible motivations behind the comments and anger. With that then trust your gut as a judgement call on why they are behaving the ways they are.
 

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