this is probably a stupid idea but i honestly cant talk to anyone about how or what im feeling (selective mute), which at the moment is pretty bad. i was thinking about writing everything down in a notebook and if i do decide to end it all then just telling them where the book is so that maybe they could read it and gain some understanding of what ive been going through. at the beginning would be an explanation, apology, etc. but id also request that they use it to raise awareness of certain issues. idk... what do you think?