I've been thinking about how different people express certain sentiments and think therein lies some of the issues/conflicts I may have with people.
Personally I think it may be a cultural thing, or at least that plays a part in it(I'm European, btw), but I'm open to feedback. On certain forums, and let's take this one as an example, I often come across this over-the-top way of complimenting someone for doing or saying something that's not actually all that extraordinary. It can be anything from a clever turn of phrase to some photo you stuck in your avatar. There are other examples, but those just spring to mind. Now to me this just comes across as a sort of insincere ass-kissing, a sort of sycophancy. It also makes the person doing it look like a bit of a bootlicker. The recipients of this type of fawning do seem to enjoy it, and why the hell not? But I wonder are those same recipients just being openly polite but secretly thinking "ok, chill, no need to suck my dick just yet" or is it more of a "just enjoy the ego boost and be gracious about it"? Maybe it's a friendship thing, i.e. both parties know each other a long time so there's an understanding there already?
It happens in real life too. I remember having to design a database and I actually thought the guy reviewing it was taking the piss at one point: "Oh wow, that is just AWESOME how you did that there....wow, AMAZING, that works SOOOO well, great idea there.. really WONDERFUL..." and that drivel went on for the whole presentation. When in point of fact it was a pretty standard database using Apache DB and it did the job it was specified to do. It worked. That's it. First year computer science stuff. There was nothing AWESOME about any of it.
I totally get it as a ploy to get into someone's pants, I mean that makes sense, but outside of that, and in the online world, is it supposed to be an encouragement type of thing? Is it the belief that compliments will make the hearer feel good about themselves and will want to reciprocate? I don't really know if it's possible but I think it would be more productive if I tried to work with this than against, and so would be helpful if I understood it a little better.
Personally I think it may be a cultural thing, or at least that plays a part in it(I'm European, btw), but I'm open to feedback. On certain forums, and let's take this one as an example, I often come across this over-the-top way of complimenting someone for doing or saying something that's not actually all that extraordinary. It can be anything from a clever turn of phrase to some photo you stuck in your avatar. There are other examples, but those just spring to mind. Now to me this just comes across as a sort of insincere ass-kissing, a sort of sycophancy. It also makes the person doing it look like a bit of a bootlicker. The recipients of this type of fawning do seem to enjoy it, and why the hell not? But I wonder are those same recipients just being openly polite but secretly thinking "ok, chill, no need to suck my dick just yet" or is it more of a "just enjoy the ego boost and be gracious about it"? Maybe it's a friendship thing, i.e. both parties know each other a long time so there's an understanding there already?
It happens in real life too. I remember having to design a database and I actually thought the guy reviewing it was taking the piss at one point: "Oh wow, that is just AWESOME how you did that there....wow, AMAZING, that works SOOOO well, great idea there.. really WONDERFUL..." and that drivel went on for the whole presentation. When in point of fact it was a pretty standard database using Apache DB and it did the job it was specified to do. It worked. That's it. First year computer science stuff. There was nothing AWESOME about any of it.
I totally get it as a ploy to get into someone's pants, I mean that makes sense, but outside of that, and in the online world, is it supposed to be an encouragement type of thing? Is it the belief that compliments will make the hearer feel good about themselves and will want to reciprocate? I don't really know if it's possible but I think it would be more productive if I tried to work with this than against, and so would be helpful if I understood it a little better.