I mean....I was getting comfortable (not completely happy-but working on it) with being alone. I mean I could walk around naked, if I had a relapse with my drinking, I was the only one who knew. I could smoke whenever I wanted to. I could watch anything from religion, to KISS to porn and nobody would know. I was developing a relationship with one of the nicest and most wonderful women in the world. I doubt I will ever find another like her. Yet...I was constantly worried. Projecting about how I could survive. Worried about my car, my finances, all of it. And so it was, that back in June, I was saved. I accepted JC as my personal Lord and Savior. And that was when I did step 3 of AA. JC is now at the wheel. He controls my life. And look at what has happened. I get to play drums in a real gig in front of an audience with a real band again. I am going back home to my wife and kids. And yet....even though I know He is there with me, I still worry. What if I have a relapse with my alcoholism? What if I can't quit smoking? I start the Nico Patch Monday. What if things get worse than before? (doubt they could) but then again... I shouldnt worry as now I have AA and God on my side. I should say my wife and I have AA and God on our side. Still.....I have those fears. How in the hell do I get rid of them?