is this as good as it gets

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by justhere, Oct 29, 2009.

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  1. justhere

    justhere New Member

    seriously i have already lost a women i loved due to a friend that she apparently wanted more than me so much that she prefered to sleep with him before divorcing me.now for the first time i have smiuled in almost 3 years(since my divorce).the girl decides hey im not in the right state of mind for a relationship which in my opinion means hey i dont like you anymore.and hey not only that my only uncle that even cared about died 2 datys ago and my gf that i had really started liking left me yesterday.im about done with this shit.im just so tired of being so alone.i have always said smiling for a little while is better than not smiling at all but i really starting to wonder if its worth it at all.sry about my sperlling im about drunk as shit.his girl came into my life and made everything seem as though it would be better just to leave me dead yet again as so many have before her.and everyone just keeps sayin it will get better give it time but it doesnt get better its just the same everytime.i just feel alone and confused and really dont feel as though i care anymore.becoming a hollow nothing would be better than what i am now life just keeps leading me in a circle of pain and letdown.i just dont know wat to think or feel anymore i think i am starting to hate myself and despise my own existence more than anything.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2009
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It sounds to me that you have grown up and started facing lifes realities.. The women you have had realations with haven't grown yet and are still seeking the excitement..Don't give up there are plenty of women who have grown and are looking for a stable relationship.. Where do you go to meet women.. In my case I always met them in bars.. My shrink told me it's not so much the woman but the excitement that comes with them.. Well they all turned out to be alcoholics and the first sign that I was seeking a longterm relationship they would either start cheating on me or leave all together..Maybe you need to reevaluate where you meet young ladies..
     
  3. justhere

    justhere New Member

    i dont know i just dont feel like there is any reason left for me to be here any more i used to wake up with the get up and go to get things done.but now that i have noone to look forward to seeing i feel like theres no reason to even live.i hate being alone but im to scared and scarred to try anymore so im backed into a corner i feel bonded.im just so scared of life and all its dissapointments maybe i am the dissapointment.i do everything i can for every woman im with to make them happy and smile im not abussive and im not mean.but i do fear the thoughts im starting to have.im sry to dump my issues on other people but i feel as if as long as i talk to someone things may get better.but its not hepling any so far
     
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