i have never self harmed and never really understood it except for the two times in my entire mental health battle of 5 years that I felt the urge to harm. But today I was using a rubber band for math class and started to tie it so tightly around my finger that it turned purple and cold. I kept doing it because it took my mind off of the other pain I was feeling. I probably did this off and on for about four hours until I finally had to stop to drive home. Is this how self harm tendencies start? I have never felt this good while experiencing pain!