No, I'm not talking about suicide, but I'm really wondering if I've hit the end of a downward journey yet. I've run out of things to keep me remotely away from feeling terrible, I got something I kind of wanted that I now hate and wish I'd never had. I lost any hope in the things I wanted now and/or in the future, I really genuinely given up on everything I can think of now that would make me see a way back upwards... I just hope I've finally hit the bottom of the journey at least, when you have no hope to go up, I guess the best you can do is hope not to sink further. I know this probably isn't a typical rant, but this is about as 'ranty' as I get. My rant is more at false hope, myself and my lack of understanding.... Not to mention my neediness and wants. I just wish things could change for the better, but I just can't see it at all any more and that really depresses me and makes me pissed off at everything.