I've had kind of a fucked up life I guess... My father was a druggie and verbally abused me...when he wasn't fighting with my mom, who left when I was 6...my father found a girlfriend who delighted in beating my brother and me....whose best friend molested me for two years, when I was 7 and 8. I told my father dozens of times...but he never believed me. My mom had man problems and every new boyfriend was my "new father" because I wasn't allowed to see my actual one once she got custody and found out about the molestation and abuse. It took along time for me to come back into my spirit...they had reduced me to (to be metaphorical) a scared but obedient puppy, completely unquestioning and shy (I'm very outgoing and loud and always have been) My mother is very mentally unstable and prone to verbal outbursts or abuse and snapping for no reason, I walked on eggshells. My mother remarried and divorced twice after my dad, one guy she went back to for a couple of months. Divorce doesn't bother me anymore. Verbal abuse doesn't bother me anymore. When I was 14 I started dating a guy who slapped me around a little bit...but it grew from playful to angry and from smacking to griding my butt and thighs into barbed wire....I left him, but physical abuse doesn't bother me anymore. Shortly after one of his buddies caught me in a public forest near my school and raped me...last june, while my estranged father and I were house sitting, the couples 20 year old raped me while he was drunk...my father made me go back the next night and he groped me a little bit...Rape doesn't bother me anymore. My best friend died in a drunk driving accident when I was 9. My father told me I wasn't allowed to cry. My great gram died when I was 14, my mother supported herself on me, and I wasn't allowed to cry. My grandfather died when I was 15, again my mother leaned on me...and an old and close family friend died when I was 16, I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral and didn't cry. Death doesn't bother me anymore. When I tell my close friends that these things...were they to happen again, when they happened the last time...didn't really hurt or bother me, they get freaked out...and I was wondering if it's normal or not? Any suggestions?