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Is This Normal?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Entoloma43, Sep 19, 2010.

  1. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member


    I'm a 20 year old male and currently attending college.

    I've never had a girlfriend or been kissed or anything, but not entirely sure why:

    Physically - I'm not particularly ugly or overweight. I run and lift weights multiple times a week and whatnot.
    Personality/mentally - I suppose I would consider myself a bit shy, but not to a point where it hinders normal social interaction. I'm a straight A student, have my depression under control (for the most part), have an eclectic taste in music, open-minded, etc...

    I've never actually actively sought out a girlfriend. Perhaps this is the problem? If I thought a girl was interested in me I'd likely pursue it, but that isn't the case.

    Any advice? Will it just eventually come naturally some day?

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2010
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I would say yea....Love doesn't come spoon fed to you... And yes if you wait and very lucky, love might find you naturally eventually.
  3. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    I wasn't expecting love to simply come to my doorstep, my apologies if I worded my original post poorly.

    Essentially, no one has shown any interest in me, and thus I've never pursued a relationship.
  4. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    If your anything like me, you just aren't noticing it! Im probably a hypocrite as im happily married but when I was single (and that was for a long time!) I never noticed guys hitting on me and the usual suggestions the opposite sex make when they like you! Im babbling now but, yeah, I just think your not noticing it. Get yourself out there lovely! Show 'em what you got!
  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I'd say it's pretty normal, I've known some really good looking guys not kiss anyone until they were around your age.
    A lot of girls prefer the man to do the chasing so that could be why you've not been in a relationship yet.
  6. SuicidalAgain

    SuicidalAgain Well-Known Member

    I'd say, pay attention because you may not be reading the signs. Also, there's nothing wrong with a bit of flirting.

    I'm a terrible flirt, it doesn't work when I do it, but I've seen it work with other people.
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    There are millions of men in the world who will never so much as kiss because they're expected to make the first move in most cultures but are too shy. You need to make it happen.

    It's not too unusual to be a virgin into your early 20s, especially if you've got mental health problems. Intellectuals tend to start a bit late too - 50% of MIT graduate students are virgins.

    And for what it's worth I was 22 my first time.
  8. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    But what are you looking for..? If you want a girl you can't just watch the sky go by and cry out for attention, WHY so shy about NOTHING?! Girls are all around you and I can insure, we won't bite you;) And you wanna know a secret, I love the timid ones, why? Cause they're sure it bad wild when in bed:bubble:

    But please, why are we so civilized , go wild **** like animals!!! :hamtaro:
  9. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    i'm a straight man, i had my first kiss at 21, up until that point i had done NOTHING and i do mean nothing with a girl, not even held hands
  10. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    There's nothing wrong with being 20 and not having any of the things you listed happen yet. You're just shy, and for the most part, women prefer for men to make the first move. But you are probably missing the signals like some of the others said. When I look back now to my high school years, I realize there were actually quite a few girls that were interested in me, I was just too blind to notice.

    If you're finding yourself wanting a relationship, then all you really need to do is try to get out there more and take some chances. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)
  11. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    That would indeed be the main reason why at the age of 20, you have never had a girlfriend or been kissed etc.

    But its up to you change that.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 9, 2010