Yesterday was my second visit with my boyfriend, he did a voluntary sign in at the hospital, because the doctor said when his 72 hours was up, he'd go through the channels to take him in front of a judge.
So yesterday he had a few more visitors, his stepdad, sister, real dad and myself. His sister and stepdad went in first, they came out a short while later, and she said he was not doing well, he was yelling at them and she didn't know if I wanted to go in there, but if I wanted to try, I could. She said to their dad that he didn't even want to see him, so he left. I said I would go in and see if I could calm him down.
I got in there, sat down next to him and quietly asked him if he wanted me to leave, he said no he wanted me to stay. I asked what had happened with his family, and he said they were trying to go the guilt route with him, and he was so tired of people trying to guilt him, I asked him if I ever tried that, he said no. So I took his hand and he cried for a little while, saying he didn't know if he would ever be any good for anyone, and he didn't know what he was going to do with his life. I simply told him that he didn't have to decide that or even know that right now. I just rubbed his back as he cried. I asked him if he wanted me to stay for the entire visit, and he said yes. So we sat silently for a little while, he appologized for not being good company, and I said that was okay, I just wanted to be sitting there with him, talkative or not.
We then did start talking about stuff, his attempt and we made some really corny jokes about it, and he was doing some laughing that did eventually touch his eyes. He told me thank you for everything, but he wished I didn't bother, and I told him I'm glad I bothered because I don't want to lose him, he means so much to me. I also told him that I don't expect anything in return, no promises, I don't expect him to ever love me, or to marry me, the only thing I ask of him is to respect me and care about me, he said he could definantly do that. So by the time the visit came to an end he was better I guess, best word I can think of, since he isn't okay right now.
I brought him a bunch of books to read while he is there and when he gets out, we're going to discuss him possibly coming to stay with me, either temporarily or permanant, we shall see about that. I stay at home for now, so he'd have someone around pretty much all the time, plus I could help him with getting to therapy, taking his meds, and having someone to talk to whenever he needs to. Plus my kids adore him, and they'd keep him pretty occupied.
I don't want him to become dependant on me, but I think for the time being, it might possibly help him having someone around who is concerned for him (not saying his friends and family aren't but they do work) and help shoulder the load a bit. Hopefully with some time and patients, he will begin to get better.
I'm not the brightest person in the world, nor am I qualified to help anyone else with their problems, I can just barely handle my own depression, anxiety and self esteem issues. But I'd like to think that I can empathize with him because we share some of the same issues and I've also got an unhealthy dose of self hatred and have had the desire to just not exist anymore.
So anyways, sorry about the book I've written, if anyone else has any suggestions on what else I could possibly do to be supportive or if I'm doing something wrong. Any feedback would be great.
Thank you
Unbound
So yesterday he had a few more visitors, his stepdad, sister, real dad and myself. His sister and stepdad went in first, they came out a short while later, and she said he was not doing well, he was yelling at them and she didn't know if I wanted to go in there, but if I wanted to try, I could. She said to their dad that he didn't even want to see him, so he left. I said I would go in and see if I could calm him down.
I got in there, sat down next to him and quietly asked him if he wanted me to leave, he said no he wanted me to stay. I asked what had happened with his family, and he said they were trying to go the guilt route with him, and he was so tired of people trying to guilt him, I asked him if I ever tried that, he said no. So I took his hand and he cried for a little while, saying he didn't know if he would ever be any good for anyone, and he didn't know what he was going to do with his life. I simply told him that he didn't have to decide that or even know that right now. I just rubbed his back as he cried. I asked him if he wanted me to stay for the entire visit, and he said yes. So we sat silently for a little while, he appologized for not being good company, and I said that was okay, I just wanted to be sitting there with him, talkative or not.
We then did start talking about stuff, his attempt and we made some really corny jokes about it, and he was doing some laughing that did eventually touch his eyes. He told me thank you for everything, but he wished I didn't bother, and I told him I'm glad I bothered because I don't want to lose him, he means so much to me. I also told him that I don't expect anything in return, no promises, I don't expect him to ever love me, or to marry me, the only thing I ask of him is to respect me and care about me, he said he could definantly do that. So by the time the visit came to an end he was better I guess, best word I can think of, since he isn't okay right now.
I brought him a bunch of books to read while he is there and when he gets out, we're going to discuss him possibly coming to stay with me, either temporarily or permanant, we shall see about that. I stay at home for now, so he'd have someone around pretty much all the time, plus I could help him with getting to therapy, taking his meds, and having someone to talk to whenever he needs to. Plus my kids adore him, and they'd keep him pretty occupied.
I don't want him to become dependant on me, but I think for the time being, it might possibly help him having someone around who is concerned for him (not saying his friends and family aren't but they do work) and help shoulder the load a bit. Hopefully with some time and patients, he will begin to get better.
I'm not the brightest person in the world, nor am I qualified to help anyone else with their problems, I can just barely handle my own depression, anxiety and self esteem issues. But I'd like to think that I can empathize with him because we share some of the same issues and I've also got an unhealthy dose of self hatred and have had the desire to just not exist anymore.
So anyways, sorry about the book I've written, if anyone else has any suggestions on what else I could possibly do to be supportive or if I'm doing something wrong. Any feedback would be great.
Thank you
Unbound
