Is this person a PSYCHOPATH?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ryanglander, Jul 31, 2009.

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  1. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    My dad recently died and my sister showed no reaction at all to his death except for the following: Well I saw her cry once when I walked in the room and my sister said "can you leave us alone". And she said to my dad "good bye dad" and was crying (but it just seemed to phony). Also any other time she cried she told my mom because my sister knows we both think she seemed to be unaffected. And one more thing that could lead me to beleive shes NOT a psychopath is that I've seen her listen to music, (she always leaves the door open). Also she turns on the radio when shes in the car.

    Now for the reasons I think shes a psychopath. I'll start in chronological order from her youth. In grade school she got in lots of trouble for tripping and hurting other kids, when she would come home and parents would call my mom and complain to my mom, my sister when confronted would say it never happened. And would realistically sound beleivable. She experienced no anger when she was accused. She almost got kicked out of school, and was diagnosed with ADHD. But my parents said she didn't respond to punishment, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. Also she would enjoy hurting others. (I remember a lot of out of school experiences where she would (for example) I remember one time at a birthday party she went to the top of a "tower" took all the balls kids were playing with and began to hit kids with them. (This was a typical event).

    Now I look at her second grade picture next to mine and her face looks completely emotionless, and when I compare it to mine I see a stark difference.

    In high school she told a few kids on my bus (laughing and saying jokingly) yeah my brother's gay. I was so hurt and mad, to this day I've never confronted her about it. But this is just one of too many examples I cannot list. She NEVER really had many friends. Although she still has one friend that shes had since 5th grade. But other then that shes never in a long-term relationship with a guy. And she seems to sometimes juggle a few guys at once, and spends most of the time bragging about these relationships. Also the reason I'm writting this is because she really hurts me. She keeps making me feel inferior in everyway. She constantly demeans, lies, and says cruel things with no remorse. For example she would say you just sit in the house all day, you do nothing, you don't do anything, I told her to get a life and she said back I have a life and walked away. Completely satisfied that she upset me. Also she said this after I came home from work, and she came down form her bedroom when she heard me walk in just to say those cruel remarks.

    Now my sister made lots of disturbing remarks to me that I got mad at, and annoyed, then I felt confused, and seeking an answer for her "disturbing remarks" I wondered if she was mentally-ill. She said these things in the last 12 months. Once I was talking how I may want to be a doctor but how blood bothers me, and she said nothing like that bothers me, I wouldn't mind if I had to eat a person. (She wouldn't mind, she was not joking). Also when I tried to talk to her once about my dad a few weeks before he died, my sister said well I don't know if I can talk to you about this if it bothers you, (I was the one that struck the conversation so of course I wanted to talk about it.) So I said to her no it doesn't bother me, it helps to talk about it, and she juts remained silent and emotionless after I poured all of my worries concerns and inner pains about my dad to her. She responded to only two things I said one thing I told her that I kills me when I watch dad have a seizure and that I can't stand watching another one, and she just said" I watched dad have a seizure". And she was just so callouse. Another thing I said to her was I can't take it anymore, (I was my dads caregiver and my sister was in from school)I told my sister I need to get away I need to transfer to an away college, I can't stand to see my dad like this anymore. And she just said "you need to be there for mom, she needs you". But I told her that she chose to go to an away college when she could have stayed locally, and she just started to contradict herself, and upset me, and didn't give a damn at all!

    Also shes very manipulative. She makes me feel worried like I can't express any emotion or she'll say theres something wrong with me. She can't stand to be criticized at all, yet all she does it point out others flaws. Also shes VERY arrogant. She lies and when shes caught lieing she doesn't care at all. NOTHING seems to bother her. She only seems to get mad, at some things, but she doesn't care if someone else's feelings are hurt unless it affects her.

    Theres to many things to write but I just want to add a few more things. When my dad died she was the person to ask the nurse to pull the oxyegen off, (even though she visited my dad only once a month and I was with my dad everyday tsking her of him!) And she did it with no emotion at all. And then later my sister was telling my mom how she noticed my dad's mouth wouldn;t shut when he died and my sister said she tried to close it with her hands but couldn't. I could just see her standing over my dads body, with that psyopathic emotionless stare she has trying to shut his mouth. Then two months after my dad died on easter, she told me and my mom "I don't know why but I don't feel sad about dad, theres nothing we can do about it so I don't know why you woud..." And she seemed to stop in the middle of her sentence. But she constantly makes remarks that she knows upsets me. Like she says I think it was easy for us when dad died because we know he was terminaly ill. (When my dad died I was hyperventalating and was practically cracking up! She knew it was very hard on me, and she keeps making remarks like dad's dead and theres nothing you can do about it so you can't dwell on the past") (this paragraph is mostly all stuff thatq happened 1 week within my dads death) She was getting mad at my mom because my mom wanted to buy an upright grave and not a cheap flat one. When we were picking out the casket my sister just wanted to get the cheapest one. She said she doesn't beleive in the soul, and she doesn't beleive in religion, and that its only used to ease peoples suffering. (Which could be true but it was totally innappropriate at the time it was said)

    And at my dads wake, and even when he died and just kept looking at her, staring into her emotionless eyes. I have a lot of anxeity and she makes fun of my a lot, (including right before my aunts funeral). Also she never become completely "good" since childhood. When she was in school she stole something of great value, but got out of getting in trouble. She talks her way out of everything and everyone beleives her. Shes so manipulative.

    I want to include more and please ask me if you want something elaborated on. I know she doesn't feel emotions like most people, she has something wrong with her, but is she a psychopath? I don't ever want to see her again shes so cruel ALL the time, she can NEVER empathize with me.

    What gets me the most mad is how she doesn't care about anything, everything "rolls off her back". She can do the cruelest things and will later not care even if shes proven wrong, she just doesn's care.

    Also she has been trying to get my mom on medication, and my sister even kept lieing to a counscler she took my mom to, in order to convince the counscler that my mom should be medicated. My sister wants my mom on medication because my mom yells a lot and is traumatized and stressed from my dads death. My mom does need help but my sister seems to only care about stopping my mom from yelling at her and not my mom herslf. When I talked to my sister I said " mom took a new sleeping pill and shes not responsive" My sister said to me "its ok we have life insurance out on mom". She wasn't joking, and I kept saying wtf is wrong with you, and she just didn't get upset, and didn't care she upset me.

    Anyway, psycho path? Anti-social personality disorder?

    I need help, I just want to get her out of my life, and never see her again, but she is upsetting my mom (I'm tired of writting so I won't go into that right now).
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Wow. I don't know if she's a psychopath or not, but she sounds like a cruel person and someone that would be really difficult to deal with. Seems like she needs a LOT of psychological help, but I doubt she'd be able to get it because she'd probably just lie her way out of the situation.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    well, may not be a psychopath, but like wild cherry says, shes got some issues.
    some ppl are just that way. my sister has NEVER given a crap about anyone except herself. even when she was very young, she was selfish.

    evil, well .. she shouldnt have said the things that she did but she obviously has some kind of emotional issues.
    is there any reason that ... i hate to say it .. that you need to be in contact with her ? maybe just let her be her and let her go her own way and you go yours.
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Based on what you've said she appears to be emotionally shut down! She moved from physical cruelty as a child to psychological cruelty towards you and others as an adult and as the others above have said, she appears to have some kind of social disorder.

    I think it falls short of psycopathic behavior based on a strict dictionary definition.

    Are you trying to find out if she's a danger to society? If so, I don't think I could tell from the info. thus far.
  5. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    In my opinion she's just an evolution of a child tired of being torn down and hurt. Probably hurt so deep inside when she was younger, that she has the inner hatred. Just a person who has had to deal with crap for too long that she just accepted it and hated the world for it. To me this is a very controversial topic... some people say blame the psycho... but is that person really to be blamed for she was never told "everythings going to be okay" by a significant other. But I don't know I don't really trust what I am saying, I feel I am just self-loathing while I try to decode your sister as her life sorta reminds me of the sad depressing life I lead.
  6. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    i hope she gets some help! She is probably hiding something deep inside or has like others said..a serious disorder.You should encourage her to get into therapy.You are right to be concerned and she is lucky you care enough about her to question her behaviour.
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Is there anyway you could get in to talk to a therapist? Tell them what you have here and ask them for a professional diagnosis. Then get as much literature on it as you can. Read it over yourself then leave it in your sister's room for her to find. She is more than likely not aware of how her behaviour affects the ones around her. It doesnt sound like she would willing go to a therapist for herself. But if you could help her to see and understand that her behaviour is to say the least cold, then maybe she might try to find some help.

    It seems for whatever reason she has, she has tried to "act" tough for most of her life. Maybe this is just her trying to be tough and dealing with the loss of your father. Maybe hun, she really doesnt know how to grieve or show the emotions like she would like to. Maybe suggesting a support group for all of you to attend for people grieving the loss of a loved one might be a step that would help not only your sister but your Mom and you too.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2009
  8. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi ryanglander,

    Thank you for sharing that with us.

    I'll be honest, I don't know if your sister is a psychopath. Without meeting her it is very hard to tell. Sure she's done some cruel things but it could be anything. I'm not saying she has this but it could be a personality disorder which makes her behave in this way. Maybe she's traumatised. It's hard to say.

    I commend you on being so caring about her though. If you didn't you wouldn't have come here and I have great admiration for you for doing that. She has done some nasty things to you. Quite often as with bullying, those who hurt are wounded themselves.

    I don't have many friends but I would never hurt anybody. I do sometimes think why are other people having the time of their life and being cruel to me. What did I do to deserve that? For some people this is unbearable and they need to release their emotions. Maybe your sister is acting this way for a reason.

    I'm not condoning what she's done at all and I'm so sorry for what she does to you each time you have to come home from work. You deserve to be treated better. Have you ever asked your sister though, why are you treating me like this? Maybe she'll surprise you and give you something which may clarify things.

    I knew somebody who was regarded by many as a psychopath. He used to do horrible things to other people. He even tried to set one of his tutor's house on fire. I asked him once, why do you do this for? Why do you treat people in such a disrespectful manner? He said, They've done it to me and they shouldn't get away with it. He was angry with the world because of his own trauma.

    I hope you and your sister are able to be good friends. If you ask her about such things, she may open up. I know there is risk but what isn't risky anymore?

    Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out for the best!

    Take care.

    Kind regards,

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