For 5 years I'm basically obssessed with my mothers name and i want her to change 1 letter in her name, i also want to change her name in my school diploma. But we have a problem here. She doesn't want to change her name. That 1 fucking letter. She said that it's a shame to do that. i'm ashamed of her name. If she changes 1 letter it would sound like all other name sound in my country but she doesn't want to do it and that makes me depressed and angry and i'm swallowing pills to make myself feel better, few members of my family told me that i'm crazy and many people that know me told me that i look totally psycho in last few years and that they don't know what is wrong with me (i didn't told them my problem). I also don't enjoy in anything anymore and i lost interest in everything, even sex. I totally wanna kill myself. How I can fix this? My mother is very mentally unstable and alcoholic and she doesn't give a single fuck about me so i can't talk normally to her, expecially when we are talking about this topic she just starts to rage at me and i have to walk away.