is this real

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by oval, Jan 24, 2011.

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  1. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    im so tired. i cant talk anymore. i cant think about anything but this dark hole. cant remember getting up or what i did during the day. when someone asks me how i feel or how my day was, i dont know what to say. everythings just blurry. i live from one moment to the other and dont know how i got there. doesnt seem like life is real anymore. i dont know what im dragging myself around for still. i cant see anything anymore
     
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :hug: Are you seeing anyone for these feelings? Maybe you should see if there are any therapists or something that can help you feel more connected to the world around you. Find things to help you feel more involved.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sounds like deep depression been there Hope you can call make an appt to get
    some help to pull you out of that darkness. Can you call anyone a friend even to go out with get out of that space your in. Hugs. time to reach out now okay to your support people and get some help. hugs
     
  4. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    thanks for the replies guys :)
    i have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow after my last attempt to get help 4 years ago. but i dont know what to tell him. i cant really talk about it anymore.
    i dont have anyone i can call i only talk to people online. even if someone asked me to go do something i knew i wouldnt end up doing it right from the start.
    i cant do small talk with anyone bc my mind is consumened with the "darkness"
    it took me so long to make a call to get an appointment with the doc now. but i have no idea what to say :sad:
    i just wanna lay on the floor forever
     
  5. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Maybe you should write down what your feeling. When I couldn't verbalize my feelings or anything I'd write notes..
     
  6. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    yeah i guess i'll try to write it down. im hoping it wont sound too silly :sad:
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't think you will sound silly and your T will help you express yourself I thinking writing down words will help convey what you are going through though hugs.
     
  8. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    hang in there honey, love you loads xx
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to see a shrink to be evaluated on meds..It sounds like deep depression.. Maybe they will put you on antidepressants and ask about meds for irrational thoughts..I use to be the same.. when someone would talk to me I would go blank..Between therapy and meds I am able to talk now.. I still avoid people as much as possible..:eek:ld:
     
  10. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    thank you guys
    yeah i have my first appoinment with the psychologist tomorrow and i have never been on meds. i dont know what to expect and if theyll even perscribe me any.
    i cant fake being good anymore. everytime someone asks me how i am, i wanna cry.
    not a single day goes by without it.
    therapy looks incredibly overwhelming and i dont know what to do
     
  11. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    really understand how u feel right now.
    dont reli no wat to say cus not in a great tlkin place jus wana act.
    but cba. wiv anythin anymore
    jus to let u no. ur not alone
     
  12. LogDork

    LogDork Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Heya :)
    Hope your appointment goes well.
    R
     
  13. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    thank you :)
    im not looking forward to it but i'll have to get it over with
    hope your doing good
     
  14. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    how did ya appointment go?
     
  15. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    well it was pretty weird and uncomfortable. the psychologist is about 60 and well its weird.
    i didnt really have the chance to mention my current condition and we ended up talking about my father.
    his advice was for me to join clubs or self help groups and be around people my age more often.
    thats not really the point though bc i isolate myself on purpose.
    talking is too much effort these days.
    i dont think he takes me seriously and i dont know if i wanna talk about self harm with him. he scares me a little.
    thanks for asking :)
     
  16. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    Who else can u see? I have the same problem, as in i can never seem to talk about what i want to with psychologists. But hopefully you'll get another chance to talk to them. or another one maybe?!
    Its so frustrating and dissapointing i suppose when they just dont seem to get you. with all that knowledge you'd think they of all people would!
    I really think u should try talking to another health professional about it especially about ur current condition. If its important to u it should be the most important thing to them.
     
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