Is this really it..?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DarkStar52, Jan 17, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. DarkStar52

    DarkStar52 Member

    This isn't the life I had dreamed for myself when I was younger. Nothing ever goes right, and no matter how hard I try it just keeps getting worse. I fell in love with a girl and we dated for 13 months and then she left me and now she still does sexual stuff with me, but she lies to me and hangs out with a bunch of other guys now. She says she still loves me, but tells her friends she doesn't. All she does is bring me up and shoot me down farther than I was before. She was my support, and now she's being the drill drilling the hole for my coffin. It's not just her though. My grades suck, and I'm not going to get into any college, and there's no way to redo that. I feel like I have no future, and nothing is going to get better. Why do i even still keep trying? I don't know why to anything anymore. I don't trust anyone anymore. The people who say they're my friends backstab me when I turn around. I just feel so attacked in every possible way. I have no one to help me because I can't trust anyone. Everyone is just going to fucking hurt me more. I want Lauren back so bad, but she won't give me another chance. So, am I that much a fuckup that 13 months means nothing? Then, of course I wreck my car, and since today I was fired from my job so I don't have money to fix it. Nothing is going right. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and I want to just end it. I thought about it and decided that the best way to go about is just overdose on painkillers and slit my wrists in the shower. I just wish I was a sociopath though because I can't seem to stomach doing that to my parents. I'm so confused I just want it all to end.
     
  2. Joy2BeWith

    Joy2BeWith Guest

    You're not alone.

    I was in your situation before and I changed the environment I hung around in.

    I started reading stories about those who have succeeded while going through difficult times - get those positive stories into your mind!

    There's plenty of women in the world for you <Mod Edit: Abacus21-inappropriate> She's not right for you. Find someone who is going to be there for your for the long haul.

    You'll get through this - it's temporary.

    Peace
    Gerry
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2007
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I know a bit of how you are feeling, as I went to Backstab High. Your grades may not be great, but you can still get into a community college and then transfer to a bigger university once your grades come up. You will meet better friends there than you ever had in high school anyway. As for the girl, I'm really sorry but you will get over her eventually. You should stop talikng to her though or it will only be more difficult. Your life will get better, just do your best and explore your options.
     
  4. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    Leave her alone and move on! Trust no one!
     
  5. DarkStar52

    DarkStar52 Member

    As for her she seems so perfect for me. For 13 months we were inseperable, and all I want is another chance. I really just want something to work out for me soon because I've been walking around with no concious collection of anything for a long time now, and it's all getting to be to much. Now I don't think I'd be happy doing anything with my life. I can't find anything to make myself happy. I hate waking up, and I hate going through the same stupid routine every single day.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.