I have been thru a lot in my life..don't feel like I can continue to pick myself back up again. The divorce of my parents, being bounced from home to home, the suicide of my father, rape, severe burns over most of my body...and this was all by the age of 15. Somehow I managed to finish school against many many odds. I married what I thought was a wonderful man who seemed to accept me despite my looks and past. I gave birth to 2 beautiful children even though medically I wasn't supposed to. Then this January my husband of 17 years left me for another woman. I was forced to move out of our home. 80% of my belongings were thrown away. I have no job, no family where I live, very little "friends" and everything has changed. Its now 5 months later and the sad, bad, mad and every other feeling under the sun keeps getting worse. I would like to get help, but barely have the strength to breath. About 4 or 5 days ago I sat in my bathroom floor getting ready to kill myself. I began writing letters to my kids and others. I didn't kill myself because I couldn't finish the letters. I see no hope for a future. My heart belongs to the man that threw me away like trash. Most days I feel that the trash is more valuable than me. I am normally a positive person who likes to help others feel better, but now I feel like a waste of oxygen. Not sure how much longer I can hold on.