dark thoughts are more intense tonight..I try writing but I'm slipping I've spoken to sams - someone told me that life would get better (for her maybe). I'm sorry. when does the fog that set it in lift, when does day give into nite my heads racing ahread of me my body to drained to see the feelins have all but gone nothing I feel, not even wrong people walking past but where am I heading? Depression has taken a hold it won't let go, its got to bold I can't fight this anymore This is worse then before my head is hurting, my heart is broken for the things I've lost all at a personal cost I've lost the courage to fight I've lost the hope to survive. I've lost the will to live. I've lost the person that I once was I can no longer stand and be tall I've shrunk I'm so small for the things I had to do I can't change nor undo. I'm exhausted from life I just want to sleep and be through make it to the gates of heaven and be free from this life, this demon. I don't like goodbyes they hurt and make me cry and I'm sorry to do this to you but I feel I have no other choice. I'm not sure where I'm heading or indeed what I'm doing but something has to give and it has to be today.