My ex roommate came over to pick up some things he forgot to pack. I think it was just toiletries, a turntable, his vinyl collection, and accessories for his computer. But we ended up getting into another argument. I was irritable because I just got off work and he's chooses to come get his shit at 3 in the morning. He wanted me to help him move his stuff into his car so he can get done faster and " be out of your life forever." In which I replied, " No. That's your shit. I don't need to do you anymore favors. We aren't friends anymore." He got really angry and started insulting me, bringing up old shit and just being absurd and obnioxus. My door was still opened too so we probably woke up the whole apartment floor. He knows what pushes my buttons and he was pushing them all. I was beginning to feel fight or flight just when I was about to go into my room and leave him be, he said something about my deceased sister. That made me fucken lose it. I was blinded by rage. I went barreling towards him screaming for him to get ready. He only had about 3 seconds to brace himself but I swung at his face and just kept swinging. He grabbed my neck, I punched his face, we fell on the ground, rolled around each of us trying to get the upper hand, knocking stuff over , glass breaking, he got on top tried to hold my hands down, screaming for me to stop, but I was possessed by anger, still fired up, so I lifted up my hips grabbed his arm and flipped him over. Then I mounted him and just starting punching his face. He was screaming bloody murder. My knuckles busted open. So did his lip. Next thing I know I was put in a choke hold. My neighbor's voice telling me to calm down or else he tightens his grip. His girlfriend went to my ex roommate and helped him up. My neighbor had me sit in his apartment (his apartment was like mine but backwards) until my ex roommate and his girlfriend finished taking his stuff out of my house. At that point I was just screaming and crying. It felt good that I hurt him. How dare he say that about my sister, he didn't know her, I did. Even if it was for a short time at least I got to meet someone whose soul was so beautiful. But at the same time why does It feel so bad that I hurt him. My neighbor was trying to calm me down, started telling me to breathe and talk about it. I always knew him as my neighbor Art but tonight he was Art the firefighter with the emerald hair'd nurse girlfriend. Whose father was battling cancer. How he and his girlfriends busy schedules usually over lap on Fridays. How drinking home made hot chocolate was a cure to hyperventilating. How being angry was okay. We talked for about half an hour until his girlfriend came to check on my hands. She gave me a couple stitches and hugged me. We didn't know each other very well, but they were so loving towards me. The world needs more people like them. After I got back to my apartment I cleaned up. Took a bath and tried to think up of an apology to my roommate. I know I crossed the line when I physically put my hands on him and I'm not trying to justify it but all I can say is I had enough. I feel bad how this night went down but if he doesn't accept my apology I think I will still be okay with it.