is this the week?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WannaEndit01, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    So righ now as I write this i wonder is this the week i end it. Part of me says yes. Maybe tomorrow. I have good reasons. Or am I reacting this way because of yesterday's problems?
     
  2. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Sorry to hear that.
    It might just be yesterday's problems causing you to think like that. I don't really know what your problem was yesterday though.
    But I know how you feel, the way of thinking atm. Like "Is it today? Tomorrow?"
    But it'll get better.
     
  3. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    I appreciate your response very much Dikta. I am trying to work through the depression as I write this.
     
  4. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    You are welcome.
    And yeah, it's not easy. I'm doing the same atm. But it's good to hear that you'll try.

    But at least just try to think of good things. Or maybe read, play or watch something that'll cheer you up? Like just to get your mind on something else.
     
  5. bythelowtide

    bythelowtide Active Member

    Hey 01, I can relate to your feelings. I am sorry you are feeling so depressed...it's so hard. I am glad that you came here to work through some of your depression. I have found this forum to be very helpful. It feels like such a safe place to share feelings with others that understand us. Please hang in there, we are all in this together. If you want, I'd encourage you to share more about what is making you feel so depressed. Maybe we can help you...maybe it will help just talking through it. Hope to hear from you soon
     
  6. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Totally depressed again. Having problems getting up to go to the rest room. I am gonna go to the rest room then try to get something to eat.

    I can't go on like this. I will be fired. My death will be a blessing. This is how I feel.
     
  7. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    I've been there too. Too depressed to eat, shower, go to the restroom. Just to keep trying to sleep.
    But you do feel better after making some food and been in the restroom.

    Well why do you think you'll get fired? I'ts just overthinking causing the thought,I'm sure of that.
    And well I feel the same atm, but it'll get better. So just relax and think about what food you'll make and such. Maybe which movie or show to watch meanwhile?
     
  8. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    I am the office not working. That is why I'll get fired. I got two granola bars and a coffee. That's all they had to eat here. Going to the rest room helped a little. I hoping the coffee helps to.

    So now I am going to try to focus on my work. Thank you again reply.
     
  9. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Well it's not for sure you'll get fired. So at least don't overthink it.
    Well glad it helped a little and that you got something to eat, although not much. Hope you'll get something more later.

    Yeah, at least try to focus on work and good things. Positive thinking.
    And you're welcome, just hope it'll get better for you soon :)
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Your death will not be a blessing of any sort. I can relate to not using the shower or cooking when depressed, you just have to not think and do it. You will feel a million times better after a wash and some food. Good luck to you and keep reaching out, there are people here who really do care.
     
  11. MusicalHeart

    MusicalHeart Well-Known Member

    Hey.. Look, I know it doesn't seem like it will get better, but it will. If you talk to someone, it will help. Just please don't go.. So many people care, no matter what it seems like. I have, and still do, feel like you do. But so many people care, and I care, I really do. Message me, I will listen.
     
  12. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    I've responded a couple times to this but the post reply does not work? I just went and ate some more and that helped. Apparently not eating makes things worse. I will not try one more time to do some work.

    Thank you very much for your support. It does help.
     
  13. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Maybe it was the network or the site had an issue. I experienced it earlier, that it was loading a little at least.
    But glad to hear you ate more, and yeah hunger isn't a good combination with thoughts.
     
  14. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Here I go again trying to post
     
  15. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Looks like post is working again. In summary the pain is really too great. I could go on how only a few people will care when I do it but why. I won't have the guts to do it.

    That's the problem no courage. I made my bed so to speak and I don't want to live in it anymore.
     
  16. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Ahhh, just to quote Naobi, "Somethings never change Jason, and some things do" It is good to return and find that some things are just as I left them.
     
  17. bythelowtide

    bythelowtide Active Member

    I'm glad you got something to eat. I have found with depression that the very things that you don't feel like doing are the very thing your body is telling you you need. I have also found that going outside for just 5 minutes even helps me so much. Is there a way you can try going out and getting some sun during a break at work?

    Maybe it isn't that you don't have courage, it's even more courageous to live through the pain with hope you'll see the other side. Please hang in there.
     
  18. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Actually things have changed I've been doing good up until today pretty much. Today has been a real bad day for me. so FU
     
  19. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Sorry you have not had a good day. But glad things have changed for you and you are doing a little better. Try and keep that glass half full feeling going if at all possible.