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Is this wrong?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by notwanting2live, Aug 17, 2008.

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  1. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Heya, I dont no if this is the right part to write this in but i dont no where else to put it, so if it needs to be moved feel free.

    OK, right ive had some mental health difficulties for some time, and i have been sexual abused twice, when i was 7-9 and 3 months ago. theres a guy that i no, and i really like, and he really likes me. i dont trust him completely, but i dont trust anyone anymores completely. i dont no what to do, i dont no if the police find eout thate they wont believe me, well if they believe me now. im still really weary of guys, but my friend has known this guy for ages, and i have known him for about 6months, and he really is great, but i dont no what to do. ive still got the rape on my mind from 3 months ago, and i dont no, ive said that i like him, and ive told him i want to take it slow, but i dont no how long its gonna take for me to have anormal relationship again. please help me, becuase i just dont no what to do.
    when im with this guy im the happiest. also my parents dont like the age gap, im 18 and hes 30 so big dif. but i really do like him.

    Xx Sky xX
  2. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I can see how the age gap can be a concern. maybe you are not ready to go into a relationship right at this moment. in time. Or maybe your body is warning you of something or it could be a fake warning. I don't know. Dammm it this doesn't make any sense.

    Maybe a couple of more months will do it. I know my experience has been a long time ago but I am still affected. I guess only you know when the time is right. If he likes you enough he will care for you and will take things slow. does he know about the recent attack? I think it is wise to take it slow and I think that if he doesn't like that and tries to move faster than you want then you should get out of the relationship. In a way I agree with your mum but I am aware that we all rebel against our parents and so I am not going to say this.

    Sorry I am not being much help :(

    Take care.

  3. tintin

    tintin Guest

    hun you can only go into a relationship when you are completely ready, if your having second thoughts maybe it isn't the right time :hug: but then again that doubt will probably always be there because of your past :hug: good luck either way hun :hug:
  4. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    hey thanks for commenting its helped abit. I told him id like to see him, but the fing is i dont want to hurt him, if it doenst work out. i am really nervous around him but not at the same time [sorry dont make sense] i really want to be with him but then it just gets so frustrating. the worst is his age, as the age difference is 12 yrs. im only starting adult hood and he is half way. some people have said to me that if i am losing sleep over it - which i am - that it aint healthy and right, just becuase im starting to become ill.
    i do like him, but becuase of the rape and stuff, im not controlling myself, let alone being able to controll myself in a relationship. i just dont want to hurt his feelings, no matter of mine.
  5. Dark~ness

    Dark~ness Member

    Hi Sky,

    I'm really sorry you've had this happen to you. It's horrible. I've had it happen to me too. It went on for a long time, and with the help of my therapist I got out of that relationship. I hit rock bottom after ending that relationship, as it was all I ever knew. I was 16 when I got involved with him, he was a lot older than me. He took away my self esteem, any confidence that I had etc. I lived in fear for a long time. I've now been split up from him for a year and a half. I never told anyone what was going on, for a long time. Eventually I opened up. But since that relationship, I never gave myself time to heal, I didn't properly talk about it - I couldn't. I am finding it very difficult trusting people too. The only advice I can give you, is wait until you feel ready... Don't force yourself into anything. The guy you like, if he really cares about you, will wait. Don't make the same mistake I did - give yourself time to work on your self esteem and confidence etc, as it will have taken a knock. Don't put yourself under any unnecessary pressure.

    Take care of you,

    D x
  6. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    i dont think i should be going into this relationship, i am NOT ready, even though i THOUGHT i was. i guess thats the thing, i think - thats the most dangerous thing to do for me - is to THINK.
    not in the best mood atm tbh
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