Is today a Suicidal day?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WannaEndit01, Sep 23, 2016.

  1. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Working from home today. Though I really don't have any work. I should read about "Hadoop". On my own business front I should finish the website.

    Spent the first couple hours day dreaming about what could have been and how I got here from a decision 30 years ago. Not productive. And can lead to deep suicidal thoughts.

    So my wife called me and that broke the day dreaming. Helping a friend at 10:00 am. Told work I would be gone for a couple hours at a Dr. appt. Just easier then trying to explain helping a friend.

    Why do I avoid reading for work, and my own business website. Work because reading the document seems like a waste of time. My own work because I believe it's a waste of time and the product is a fraud, which actually it's not. It just does not work on certain data type, or images sets with wildly different formatting.
    And even then it would work if we had a larger data set. That's why we need to move this to Big-Data to see if it works there on most everything.

    Any way I have to get ready to go help my friend. When I get back hopefully I will recognize that the product does work in a high percentage of cases. And I will motivated to finish the website. Or at least read about Hadoop.
    Brian777 likes this.
  2. ToBeAtPeace

    ToBeAtPeace Active Member

    Hi W, I'm a web developer, and I feel your pain with regards to the legitimacy of a product you've built. If it doesn't cover every scenario, it feels like it's worthless. Like you say though, generally these things aren't. Because of our mindset, we tend to focus on what is wrong with something, rather than what is right with it. We're also black or white thinkers. It either is or it isn't. There are no grey areas. We are certainly not sales people. That may mean that we end up producing better products, but it's not a healthy outlook. If you gave your product to a salesman, they would focus all their energies on what the product can do. And like you say, you need to focus and recognise that your product does work - just not in every way. What product does though? Every product on this planet has some kind of restriction on what it can do. In any case, if a client wants something that isn't there, then that could be part of a phase 2, or a bespoke development. Hope this helps. TBAT x

    P.S. if you need any web development tips, let me know. :)
  3. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for you your response. It makes sense, but I still have issues with it. Were' pushing forward with it right now. I am trying to get my partner to finish the business plan and searching for capital. Do you have any medical Software VC leads? We can use that?

    As for the product, we run some tests and it looks great others not so great. As I mentioned above we need some real big data to ascertain its value. So were trying to raise money to get there.

    As for depression. I woke up again today depressed. I am on week 8 or Prozac. I am not catatonic depressed. That is where I was 8 weeks ago. So I am functioning. But the uphill battle is very daunting.
  4. ToBeAtPeace

    ToBeAtPeace Active Member

    I don't I'm afraid. Sorry.

    It is, but it will pass. Your pdoc may suggest upping the prozac if you're not already at the top limit.