isnt being a loser poxy!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by alloutoftears, May 24, 2010.

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  1. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    am i the only one who hates being the person who gets the rough end of the stick?

    i hate being the guy who doesnt get the job the girl the respect the little breaks , damn even the friendly looks from people.

    im sick to my back teeth of not being good enough, of coming last, of being the butt of the jokes the failure and the cretin who everyone laughs at.

    i reject this world, life is a gift eh, no fucking way it is

    yes life isnt easy but does it really have to be this damn poxy
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I HERE YA!
    I wake up so many times hoping and praying life will show me a little love that day but seems I am just set for a tough time right now and am just doing the best I can.

    One thing I believe in is giving out what I want. Like if I want people to smile at me and maybe pause for nice words I have to make the effort in life to do the same towards others. I do find when I am more upbeat and giving I get some of that good will back at me. Problem is the depression does not make taking the first step that easy and so i get caught in the vicious cycle of keeping my head down, not smiling and giving off the "Stay clear" signal.
    Have you tried taking the first step? Seems like for every 3 i put out I only get one back but it is better than nothing.

    I ma here for you and am listening..keep posting, it helps.

    :arms: B
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hear hear, I hear you loud And clear. That is the story of my life. Why the he'll can't people see a shy person and not a person who hates the world? I do my best to be smiley and look happy but people see through the fake smile and still treat me like crap.

    Whatever happened to the days when people would be friend the lonely kid or person? When will my day come? Oh right never, no matter how hard I try.
  4. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    doesn't really matter anymore

    one more day 2 more nights and then no more being an outsider

    still cant help feeling hard done by though, maybe thats why i deserve it
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I wish I knew when I was going to start changing into a regular person.
  6. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Gawd damn youve just perfectly descrtibed me

    I get where your coming from in every way
  7. charmane

    charmane Well-Known Member

    You sound just like my son. He also says he is through with this life for the exact reasons you mentioned. I told him today that he needed to stop seeking so much external validation.

    Try to become the person YOU want to be. Maybe you could volunteer with a group trying to better the world. Join the peace corp or something like that. Learn a new skill - take a class just for fun. Join a gym, a bike club, a travel club, a book club. The thing is you have to love yourself before others will respond to you.

    Watch the people that are so successful in the social world. They are so comfortable in their own skin. They are not always the prettiest or the most handsome or built but they love themselves the way they are. Screw people who don't like something about you. It doesn't mean you are flawed - they are. So many people out there are always looking to tear someone else down. It makes them feel better about themselves. So many people nowadays are so cliqueish - and they have such poor social skills because of the internet, texting etc.

    When I was young everybody just hung out in a group - we'd go to the park and just start playing frisbee, or enjoying a drink together. My kids laugh and tell me - "NO WAY" Even my daughter said that you just don't go up to people you don't know - they'd call you weirdo. So sad. As I look around me now I feel sorry for young people. The world is very harsh. The magazines are full of stories that make fun of girls for being fat when they are size 5's. We love to tear people down. It's making basket cases out of everybody because nobody can stand up to this unrealistic idea of what's appealing or attractive.

    I will just tell you what I tell my son everyday (even though he doesn't listen) - do it for you. If you keep trying in your life, if you keep trying to better yourself (and we all have to - all the time) - then things will improve. It may be slow, but in the meantime, work on being the person you can be proud of. Be the guy who lives according to your own convictions and is true to himself. You don't owe anybody anything but your integrity. You are a good person, you are worthy of the things you mentioned. But, while waiting for something to happen, don't stop your life, live it to the fullest and on your own terms and if somebody doesn't like it then let them eat :cake: or pound rocks because cake is too good for them.

    Keep trying - we all care.
  8. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    i'm so happy the day of freedom is almost here

    my plan has worked and i prepared all i need

    soon i will sleep and my heart will fail

    i have just one last thing to say

    Stace i will always love you,

    even after our civilisation falls, our cities crumble to dust,
    humanity ceases to exist and finally the sun shuns this world
    leaving it a barren lifeless rock floating in the abyss,
    the one true thing that will survive eternity
    is my pure devotion and unconditional love for you and you alone.
    You will remain my everything eternally.

    I love you

    Stephen F
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am sorry you feel you have to leave. I wish I could help you coup with life's lack of fairness.

    I will say, when you are dead you cannot love anyone nor can you be loved. If you have someone to love hold onto them. As long as they return your love, you will be OK.
  10. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    You're not going to kill yourself.
  11. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    wanna bet

    i bet my life
  12. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    please don't....
    tell us why you got to this point?
  13. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    IV i know u only mean well and you're heart is true, for that i thank your endless compassion and consideration.

    as frost famously said

    'i have promises to keep and miles to go before i sleep and miles to go before i sleep'

    melodramatic quote aside, the miles are now millimetres, the end is calling me to its understanding embrace.

    no more pain, no more disappointment, no more emptiness no more no more

    to all who are foolhardy to read my verbal tripe

    take life by its horns and change for the better

    please let your hurt come with me and stay with me

    dont copy, shun and do the opposite
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I think you are just running out of gas right now. You see the gas station as your destination. It is OK to rest here. We all need a break from time to time. So take a break and get refueled. There are plenty more miles to travel.
  15. despairguy

    despairguy Active Member

    Guess he already did it u.u
    He was the one person who I talked the most here. And trust me he was ready to do it, he got all the props and prepared they way for the ones who are still alive (his family, friends, etc). I am the one who keeps his secrets now (well maybe Im not the only one) and I truly know the whole situation...

    Guess I lost a great friend and person, I'm still thinking, I'm still sad.. but somehow happy coz deep inside I know he must be in a better place... u.u

    "alloutotears" wish u well my friend, wherever u r... u'll be missed and never forgotten... well I guess that's it, u know the rest.
    Good bye bro u.u
  16. SeanW

    SeanW Member

    Well at least you aint the biggest loser in Dublin.. That's all me.. ha
  17. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Not very compassionate. He actually did. You are the person on this site with an endless amount of posts and threads about how worthless you are, how your life isn't worth living and how to plan to take your own life. And then when someone reached out in a real crisis, you didn't even give them advice or the support that you so desperately yearn for. Be more of a friend. and judge a little less before you actually know someone.
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