Isnt it funny?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by greyroses, Aug 13, 2009.

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  1. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    Isnt it funny when you go your whole life wishing that things were different...That someone was interested in you romantically, that you felt better about yourself as a person? That you could just get away and see the world? That you could feel financially secure? That you could finally stand up for yourself? (Throw in whatever else applies in your case). And then you finally get it, get it all, every impossible hope or goal you ever wanted or could ever hope for and the silence of your mind, realize that with every fiber of your being that you still want to die? I dont think there is a feeling more distressing than knowing you have all you want, and yet it still isnt enough to keep you from wanting to leave it all behind for good.
  2. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    No that's not funny. And I wouldn't have any sympathy for anyone that felt that way. I've been working toward that my whole life and if I even got a fraction of what I'm after I would be happy. And so would most people. Anyone that would have all that most of us dream of and not be happy is a poor excuse for a human being. They would need to learn to appreciate what they have and stop feeling sorry for themselves.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2009
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Wow thats harsh "right u are ken", Don't listen to that person...those people are mean and dont deserve your attention...

    you have every right to feel that shows that you can have all you want in the world and still be unhappy, that doesnt make you a bad person, just a depressed one...everyone can be affected by depression, the rich and the poor..

    I used to think that if I was rich then all would be easy and I would be happy...I realise now money doesnt buy happiness, not for me...I could have all the money in the world and I'll still want to die...There's nothing I really want now...maybe thats the depression speaking...
  4. IDKwhatIwant

    IDKwhatIwant Well-Known Member

    i hear ya.
    i dont know what i want anymore.
    use to have goals,
    then reached them,
    and they werent what i thought they would be.
  5. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Harsh? Maybe, but I stand by it completely. Not every post here deserves a "there, there" Some people deserve a wake up call, not coddling. A person that has all the things they claim they want needs to get a grip. There are people here with real problems and they deserve our sympathy. A person that has it all is not one of them. As I said, they need appreciate what they have and stop feeling sorry for themselves.
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Who are you to decide what someone needs? You don't know that person and you dont know his/her situation...not because in your life there are people who you consider spoiled rotten means you can project them onto people here...she/he has the right to not be attacked the minute she/he have the right to disagree with the post but lashing out at her/his is not okay....
  7. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    I don't believe that you could be so harsh. It doesn't matter what people have or don't have. People have depression and are suicidal because of things going on inside them.

    Greyroses have you seen a therapist or doctor.

    What is going on that has you so depressed? Don't be afraid of posting. We really do care and want to help.
  8. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    And who are you to decide those things about me? I was speaking in general terms. You are attacking me personally. Look at your own harsh judgemental behavior before you judge others. It's called hypocrisy. Don't be a hyporcrite
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sometimes we get to the place where we have everything we wanted, only to realize it either does not live up to our expectatiions, or something important is still missing. A person cannot nor should be judged for coming to this realization. I do agree it may be helpful for you to see someone about your ongoing depression. There may be more involved in this than you know. :hug:
  10. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    you were attacking greyrose indirectly...the only hypocrite I see here is you...I'm not going to bother responding...

    Greyroses hang in there and talk to us, we want to hear from you...
  11. croatoan

    croatoan Member

    Right U R Ken,

    Greettings from the other side of the 'pond'. I'm sorry, but that does sound harsh to me. As someone with five disabilities, one being intractable chronic pain from a spinal chord injury, I find the suffering causes me to be more understanding, not less.

    It's interesting that DSM IV (diagnostic manual used by docs & p-docs) does not mention "wake up calls" as a form of treatment for depression. Along with serious health problems, I await foreclosure as America nears winter, lost my animal companion of 15 years that helped me deal with pain that required cancer pain meds, ran out of funds for cancer pain meds, yet I still have compassion for people whos' medical bills don't look like the national debt of a small country.

    I hope that this tiny quote from Meditation XVII by John Donne will convey meaning more eloquently than my depressioon currently allows me:

    "..... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

  12. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    And yet you did. With the harshness you accuse me of. That's hypocrisy. Look up the word before accusing me of being one. I wasn't being one in any way. I said what I meant and I stand by it. That's not hypocrisy.
  13. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    There will be no more bantering amongst members. Get back to the intent of the OP or posts will be deleted or the thread closed.
  14. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    All the riches in the world can't cure some people of their mental illness.
  15. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    thus is the problem with the suicidal mindset. deal with it long enough, and eventually you will become wired to feel that way on a more permanent basis.

    im going to agree with ken on this one, seeing as though most people who would agree with the point he is making are either too scared to post (god forbid people get forum points), or simply understand that the more knightly members will nail them to a cross the same way they put ken on one, so they just avoid posting altogether.

    he was a bit brash, but hes absolutely right. if you know you have every opportunity to be happy, then the time for self pity and the e-support of coddlers is over. now is the time to seek good counseling ............ from a proffesional. at this point, you dont need people to tell you that "its okay, we're here for you", or "awww, you cant help who you are", you need people to tell you that its time to take the fight against your depression very seriously, as you now have a solid base to work off of.

    if youve achieved what you need to achieve to be happy, and choose to wallow in your self pity when you realize youre still depressed, you have only yourself to blame when you dont work your way through it. see a counselor, do things that make you happy and allow yourself to enjoy them long enough to reteach your brain to accept this happiness. do whatever you need to, but dont simply accept that the depression defines you as a person. depression is a mental illness, not a personality trait; being suicidal is a mental illness, it is not a personality trait.
  16. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Stop attacking. Answer the question and move on.

    It is funny, but I completely agree. It seems to happen with me. Or atleast I think and then it's so good it turns out bad. Uh don't you love life?
  17. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    EDIT - I was going to post something... but I won't... becasue I'm not going to be a wanker...

    I think the original poster makes a good point. So stop with all the shit you're giving them. If they've got everything they thought they wanted and are still suicidal it doesn't mean they are selfish or spoiled. It means that have a serious issue.
  18. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    Please don't be put off by what people are saying. We want to help. Please tell us what is going on. We really are here to listen. We are glad you reached out to us. Have you talked with a therapist or doctor? Please talk to us.
  19. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    Hey guys...
    Sorry I didnt respond. The first response had me in a very bad place and I had to get offline before I kept re-reading it. I ended up having to call a suicide helpline within a half hour but thanks to the wonderful woman I spoke with, was able to calm down a little bit. I realize now that whoever it was that first posted was speaking out of pure ignorance to my situation and assumptions about who i am and where I was coming from.
    I have seen many professionals...four or five since I was thirteen. They tried medicating me a couple times but for whatever reasons, im off of them.
    I have worked really hard to accomplish my dreams. I said I have everything I wanted- NOT that it was handed to me. I live in an extremely high-stress and low support environment right now. Last night I was terrified because I was thinking about killing myself and I didnt have anyone I felt I could talk to. I felt and feel like I dont have any friends that could/would help, or in other cases, that deserved to have to deal with me like that. I figured I would save them the stress of dealing with me suicidal and cut it down to just burying me.
    I have worked for years at a job for a boss who is a monster, specifically bullying me for awhile before moving onto others and making the work environment miserable but because I needed the money I stayed there. I finally saved enough money after three years to do some traveling, though finances are getting a little shaky now in the homestretch.
    I have always felt i was unlovable and used the point that I have never had a boyfriend etc. as proof. Recently I think Im being confronted with someones interest in me and realizing that...I just cant love me. I cant understand why they would have any interest in me and I expect them to get tired of me after a first date so I find myself unable to do anything with it.
    Im just scared. I HAVE TAKEN STEPS TO TRY AND FIGHT THIS. THIS HAS BEEN FOUGHT FOR YEARS and looking around me now, after taking those steps, and feeling like it was all for nothing is terrifying.
    I understand where people are coming from in saying I dont need to be coddled, i need to be proactive. I have been. I would also like to ask, now that I am in a somewhat more stable place, that you be very careful with your words. One persons response last night sent me right over the edge when I had come here just for some support and to feel less alone and useless.
    Anyway, I thank everyone who really does care. I am not at 100%...or 60% yet really, but Im glad I risked checking back on this thread. I was honestly scared to but it was a good decision.
    Thank you :hug::arms:
  20. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    Also, I wanted to post what the woman comforted me with last night as I argued that persons point that I had taken for my own:
    Just because a person "has everything they wanted" doesnt mean they are ungrateful. It means that what they thought they wanted was not it. Who is the rest of the world to tell you what should make you happy? There's is just what does. Now you know that those things wont make you happy and you need to find what will.
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