My family's financial situation was never great, so I had the burden of having to grow up to be a extremely smart person who would change my family's situation. One day I was just sitting in my room thinking about my childhood.. then I thought what childhood? All I did was just sit there and study. My dad was a bastard he stole my Mother's money, ruined my family then he proceeded to live with us and act like a king. I wanted to kill my father on so many occasions I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. I'm typing this at 1:00. I love my mother but I can't meet her expectations... I'm not smart nor someone who will make a lot of money.. This world is truly unfair. I've met kids who simply do not need to bother as when they grow up they're parents will simply throw a few hundred grand at. Ever since I was born a burden was placed on me. I couldn't even take my own life not wanting to leave my mother who had raised me through her own living hell. I'm currently in love with a girl who stopped me from killing myself in the past... she's the most beautiful girl in the world but a shit like me doesn't deserve her. She's become a surgeon and she's hella smart I can't even compare to her. Before your born you spin a wheel.. this wheel decides your fate..
Will you become a smart amazing handsome person? or will you become a piece of trash? I suppose I got the latter. Another thing I hate Religion. oh wow what's that your life is bad? Go pray to God he'll help you! My family is crazy religious but I hate God and his bullshit. Trying to kill yourself is hard as you don't want to make others suffer by leaving them alone. Isn't death beautiful? I believe there is no heaven or hell. You simply go into an eternal sleep like snow white.. except no Prince wakes you up. I'd love to eternally sleep without the troubles of life. When I was young sitting down to play a game or watch some telly put my parents into a rage saying how I'm useless I never study and I'm a piece of shit more or less. In school I had to keep my mask on. Everyone knew the happy joyful me I hung out with the popular kids always trying to fit in and at least use some thing to convince me to stay in this world. Then I was betrayed. Simply betrayed. I had anger issues I talked with my fists not bothering with teachers or anything. I became an outcast the person no one liked. Soon I was bullied so I punched every bully which led to more consequences and more schools to be expelled from. I was angry with whoever created me with whoever chose I should live. It sounds wrong what I'm about to say I'm jealous of those who get diseases and die. I <mod edit - method> woke up at a hospital with my dad saying God wanted me to live. Funny isn't it? I'm just not allowed to die? So I just vent now. My dad was also abusive which didn't help much. Is it too much to ask to just rest eternally in peace? - ...
Will you become a smart amazing handsome person? or will you become a piece of trash? I suppose I got the latter. Another thing I hate Religion. oh wow what's that your life is bad? Go pray to God he'll help you! My family is crazy religious but I hate God and his bullshit. Trying to kill yourself is hard as you don't want to make others suffer by leaving them alone. Isn't death beautiful? I believe there is no heaven or hell. You simply go into an eternal sleep like snow white.. except no Prince wakes you up. I'd love to eternally sleep without the troubles of life. When I was young sitting down to play a game or watch some telly put my parents into a rage saying how I'm useless I never study and I'm a piece of shit more or less. In school I had to keep my mask on. Everyone knew the happy joyful me I hung out with the popular kids always trying to fit in and at least use some thing to convince me to stay in this world. Then I was betrayed. Simply betrayed. I had anger issues I talked with my fists not bothering with teachers or anything. I became an outcast the person no one liked. Soon I was bullied so I punched every bully which led to more consequences and more schools to be expelled from. I was angry with whoever created me with whoever chose I should live. It sounds wrong what I'm about to say I'm jealous of those who get diseases and die. I <mod edit - method> woke up at a hospital with my dad saying God wanted me to live. Funny isn't it? I'm just not allowed to die? So I just vent now. My dad was also abusive which didn't help much. Is it too much to ask to just rest eternally in peace? - ...
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