Isolated from morning till night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kayama3, May 17, 2014.

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  1. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    I have posted thousands upon thousands of posts regarding me being isolated. There is simply nothing I can do to better my situation. I daren't try and meet any female since I have never dated before. I have no family to turn to, no friends. There a couple people online I can but I daren't even try talk to them. I never speak from morning till night every single day of my entire life, every single weekend of my entire life, every single birthday of my entire life. Just complete isolation from morning till night.

    zero conversation on any day, no interaction with any other human every single day for years of my life. my entire life.

    My parents think its one big joke, even though I am going through never ending mental torture. I feel like killing myself everyday. In my head I tell myself that Im isolated and trapped, I never stop telling myself this until I go to sleep. Everyday is the same. Ive never had a job, friends, a girlfriend, a night out, and never leave the house. I've already spent my entire youth in isolation, im too mentally damaged to ever recover.

    I want to kill myself but not enough people know me to feel sorry, so I will continue to suffer isolated without ever talking to anyone else ever again. Isolation is complete inhumane torture but there is no help. none from family none from doctors none from therapists. I will just fucking jump in front of a truck
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Why can't you talk about this to the people that you know online? I know chatting online isn't the same as having someone to talk to face-to-face, but it's a start; and maybe you can eventually get to the point where you're able to chat with people on Skype or some other form of voice chat; I know from personal experience that this can ease loneliness and isolation.
     
  3. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    I suppose I can, but Im so mentally drained that I would literally have nothing to say. I just need physical contact, actual face to face conversations but there is nowhere I can physically go for that. I am so incredibly angry and damaged now from years like this, basically all my life I feel I could kill myself at any point. I just want people to feel sorry if I was to end it, being completely alone makes me think selfish like that.

    Iwant to kill myself to prove to my family that I AM IN PAIN . AND ITS NOT A FUCKING JOKE. I think dying is what it takes to get them to even care.
     
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    You're right. Mental torture is no joke. I feel much the same as you, like I have nowhere to turn to for help. I've been to the hospital twice and regularly see a psychaitrist. Nothing helps. You're not alone in feeling the way you do.
     
  5. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    I never have any opportuntity to talk, on any day, yet people judge me if I go crazy or get suicidal and fucking angry... but no one takes into consideration constant isolation No one fucking cares, its totally meaningless blank statement to people. Even doctors have no idea, Im completely mentally damaged now it feels. I have to battle my sanity, which means I will never be able to date, or ever have friends or even acquaintances. I'm completely damaged now it feels I can't function in any area of life.

    Of course people can't make the distinction between being a whiny bitch and going trying to not lose your own sanity.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2014
  6. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    I wish I even joined this forum. please delete all my posts dont want to be a member here anymore
     
  7. redrobin62

    redrobin62 Active Member

    Every so often I come across a post that looks like I could have written it. This is such a post. I can relate to Kayama3 so much it's surreal. I, too, am painfully alone. I go to AA/NA meetings but I still have no friends or hang out buddies there. I just hate being alone and I don't know how much more I can take.
     
  8. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    I have an extremely painful headache again today. My mental health is continually degrading, yet there is nothing that can be done about it. I just have to put up with this.
     
  9. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    thats the worst about constant aloneness, you lose your mind with the awareness you are losing your mind.. observing my own mental health degrading constantly and not doing anything about it. I've never lived so I want to die
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2014
  10. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    sounds like anxiety for new experiences. what was interacting with kids like as a child
     
  11. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    from abuse to constant isolation my mental state is too affected now, my family dont care.
    24 years of torture, close to killing myself. Isolated loner virgin my entire life because other people ruined it for me.

    my family talk shit about me everyday. all they see is my attitude, they dont care im suffering.

    no one cares. no relationship. no friends. no communication. no advice that works. Yeah suicide is my only option. I hope to achieve death this week.
     
  12. Kayama3

    Kayama3 Member

    nothing but abuse
     
  13. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    so old experiences say everyone's an asshole to you. new ones should prove some people are not.
    so you're anxious for/over good things 'cause bad is all you know
    how would you deal with good ones if and when they come?
     
  14. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I can relate to just about everything you said. I used to think I was the only person on earth who felt this way, but I know that's not the case since joining this forum. I wish I knew exactly what I could say to help, but I know it's hard, because I take it on a day to day basis and still trying to find something to live for. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please feel free to message me.
     
  15. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Please tell us more about who you are Kayama - which country you're from/in etc. - I'm confused about your identity (age, sex, any siblings, relationship in your family, education, etc.)
     
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