Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Anonymous Dude, Mar 18, 2009.

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  1. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    I've been a recluse for years now and my social skills are the worst. I've even had trouble connecting with people online. I'm here again after a long absence. When I feel real bad I have no one to talk to and sometimes i'm not even sure if I want to or that it will help. This is a place of last resort for me. It makes me very sad when I can't talk to my mother and tell her things, she is a very busy person. I really don't know what to say other than I feel hopeless and alone. It's exhausting to type this kind of thing out and I feel so pathetic doing so. I'm really scared and in tears
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey AD,
    I too am an isolationist. I have been locked away from the world in my bedroom for fifteen years. I spent the first fourteen staring at the ceiling wishing I would just die. I have had three attempts. I've been on meds for about telve years and been in therapy for the last three years.. I can see progress because I am able to go to certain places on my own now.
    I still don't socialize with anyone. If I am at me brothers house he always has people dropping by. When they show up I try to stay there and listen to their conversation but 95% of the time I go in the house to my room and just lay there until they are gone. I'm still working on that one with my therapist.
    I reccomend you see a shrink and be evaluated and put on meds if necessary. But the biggest thing is find a therapist who you can bond with..You have to give it time, they can't heal you overnight. The more you share with them the better the treatment plan...I find the forum has given me back my voice because no one knows exactly who I am and so I feel comfortable sharing here...Take care!!
  3. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    I appreciate the reply, your situation is a lot worse than my own in terms of time (I did start young though) but we are similar I have no doubt. I am on medication (have been for some years now, amazing the amount of medication that didn't work :mellow:) and I do see a therapist that I like for one hour a week. It's an hour I love because I can just talk about whatever I want to someone I trust and she'll respond back with positivity and reality. I've had so many ups and downs recently it's shaken my already non-existent plans for the future. It feels like life is passing me by and i'm trying to catch up to it but I can never get a good grasp. It's really frustrating to lose self-confidence when it was so brand new to me, I thought I could go places and not freak out, talk to people and have meaningful conversations, maybe meet a nice girl. All that hope for the future ended up letting me down. The more time goes by the more I feel it's been wasted

    I'm going into home studies when I was supposed to go back to the high school. I really want to finish school in a classroom and I thought I was going to, but the anxiety and worrying won. I can see the disappointment in the people around me and it stings
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to set small goals for yourself.. Once you acheive one then bank that positive thought.. Once you start accumilating positive thoughts you can use them to replace the negatives. I know what you mean about your therapist.. mine is great.. Shes an old hippy like me, we get along great..I always feel guilty when I have to cancel an appointment. It's just sometimes I don't feel safe to drive and don't want to cause an accident.. You need to let go of the past because you can't change it.. Live for today and as long as you are trying you will never be a failure..Take care!!
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy


    My social skills are so pathetic they have a name for it, asperger's syndrome.

    You can post how you feel - if you do so feeling comfortable, I'll be here to listen.
  6. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    I have it and i'm pretty sure my father does too. I'm better off than him because i'm on medication and therapy at least. Sometimes I don't know if i'm better off than I used to be or just the same
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