It all goes down to wanting to die. All the time.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by clairedelune, Dec 16, 2011.

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  1. clairedelune

    clairedelune Wanderer

    I'm on the verge of crying. Because for the first time, I realized, how amazing it is to think of killing myself. Because I'm honestly a worthless person and nobody will love me or even like me for who I am. So, it's just safe to die. Because it wouldn't harm anyone, I guess. And besides, I deserve to not having even existed at all. The only person who pities me is myself. And I am just plain worthless. Again and again.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You are not worthless, even if you do feel that way.

    Feeling that people will never like the real you is awful, but a good friend will like you for you, no pretence or front, just the truth of who you are, accepted.

    Talk to us more clairedelune, talk about your feelings of pity? Why do you feel you do not deserve to exist?
  3. Sleep

    Sleep Active Member

    Clairdelune, you may have fantasies that no one will miss you but that is incorrect or be sorry for things that may have hurt you. Realistically, you are not going to have the opportunity to witness how bad they will feel if you decide to end things.

    This afternoon I saw a mate who got into trouble with the Police last week. He's someone I can really talk to and told him about slashing my right arm. He was shocked but told me if I ever feel bad then to phone him up and we'll meet for a beer. I find this time of year awful with Christmas coming up but once that's out of the way, I can look forward to spring and lighter days and sort out my demons, especially hating and feeling sorry for myself.

    Please don't ever feel you're alone, even if you do because there will always be people willing to help you get better. x :hug:
  4. nonopano

    nonopano Active Member

    I'm not so sure about suicide. I know pain can be very unbearable in life. I have had suicidal thoughts as well, but I don't know what would happen next.

    Anyway, don't think yourself as worthless. By thinking as one you're losing yourself more and more to pain. It's a matter of persppective that will determine your state of happiness. If happen to have faith, you'll carry on in life.

    At the same time, do not see yourself as not loved by anyone. All these years I imagined that no one cared for me and no loved me. But I was wrong. I'm actually surrounded by those people whom I've been suspicous. Yet they are actually the ones who love me. So, examine the people around you for a while. See if you think they really don't love you or not. Sometimes, it is difficult for us to see what really love is, and love can have different interpretations.

    If you fail to see love around you, why not give loves instead. Realize that all the people around us feel pain, seek comfort & happiness and want to learn in lfe. Maybe we can start a change by being compassionate to other people, and doing little kind things.
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