I'm tired of the cycles. I'm exactly where I was 6 months ago. Apathetic, empty, no will to live. If the pattern holds true, then I'll probably wind up in the hospital within the next month or 2. I hate that place. It's awful and it doesn't help at all. I don't want that. I don't want any of it anymore. I don't want this life anymore. For most people, you can tell them that if they just hold on long enough, the feelings will pass. That it will get better. Those are empty promises that don't hold true for me. My bipolar keeps me so off balance and in constant turmoil and chaos. And even when they do pass, it's only for a very short while and they ALWAYS return. And it seems that each time they return, it's worse and for a longer duration. I'm not getting better. I'm getting worse. And they can't stop it. I'M SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!