It better stop NOW

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by PandorasToybox, Jul 29, 2009.

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  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I really don't think I can do this anymore :sad: I am beyond exhaustion, anger & confusion. Everything is a mess & I want out. I'm sick of people fighting over my adoption, and I'm sick of having 4 sets of parents to deal with. Everybody is always killing eachother over my adoption and they try & pin me against one another and act like they are just the perfect angels. I told my adoptive parents I want ONE family. I want one mom, one dad and my sister. I dont want want 4 moms, 4 dads, and 9 siblings. I'm sick of them saying that their fighting shouldn't affect me. I already have enough issues from all four of the sexual assaults, my riding accident, the molestation and trying to deal with school. I always have to struggle with everything & everybody points that out. Everybody says I dont have enough drive to get where I want. How about, I'm too busy trying not to blow my brains out?! I seriously need somebody to make it stop before I end it all. I'm so close to telling someone "Tell them they seriously need to stop before I end up committing suicide. I can't live like this anymore". I'm sick of being treated like just because I'm adopted and was an abandoned/abused child that I will never be as good as a biological child. I really can't deal with it, I am so tired:nerves:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you need to sit down and write a letter to all involved telling them how you are feeling. Let them know the pain they are all causing you and that right now you need support not constant battles so you can get on with your life. I think going to college shows them you do have ambition and dreams. Hand them all each of the ones that are hurting you a seperate note and in big letters write STOP already on it. I need help I hope your pain stops and i hope they listen take care
  3. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Thats the problem, I've already done that but they only think about themselves and say I'm just trying to hurt them & I'm making a big mistake. If I try & stay away from them they send me messages accusing me of accusing them of being bad people. This has been going since I was 3 & I'm now 18 & it's only getting worse, and I'm the one taking all the blows.
  4. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy


    I am always here if you need someone to talk to. Be safe. :hugtackles:
  5. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I really don't think I can do this anymore, I can't take it. I spent my entire summer sitting in my apartment alone going nuts. Even when I get out I feel fake, because I'm not really happy.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, hun. :hug: It sounds very stressful for you right now. What roles would you like them to play? Have you told them that? Are you closer to anyone than the rest, and could they help you explain to the rest how the fighting makes you feel?

    If the group is determined to argue and fight anyway, perhaps you can distance yourself emotionally by not being more than polite and nice. If they throw around accusations, you can say, "I'm sorry you feel that way/see things that way." You can choose to put up a bit of a wall so it doesn't get under your skin. Right now, what they say about each other or about you isn't as important as how you're feeling. If they won't take that into consideration, you have the power and the right to walk away from the fighting (without being rude about it).

    I hope it settles down soon for you.

  7. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    First of all Acy, thank you for the lovely post, much appreciated! :hugtackles:

    I want them all to get lost, I mean they made the decision to give me up for adoption and the others need to learn that they can't all be my parents. I want a normal as possible life and that won't happen with them feuding. Like whenever two of them get in a fight or four them, or whatever, one of them will say "Ohhh dont let our fight get in the way of your relationship with *other person*" and then when I see either of those people they bad mouth the other person(s) and I have to listen to it and it makes it awkward because than they ask me what the other person is saying about them. That's been my life since I can's like going through a divorce that never ends.

    I feel guility easily so when they tell me that I'm making them sound like a bad person by not creating a relationship with them, I feel HORRIBLE. That usually sends me to bed in tears.
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